V3nyl's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2023 @ 10:11am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 11:14am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 1:31pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 10:20am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 11:12am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 10:18am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 11:47am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 8 Oct @ 5:17am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 8 Oct @ 10:43am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 8 Oct @ 12:54pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 10:20am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 1:47pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 11:08am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 10 Oct @ 1:25pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 11:09am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 12:09pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 22 Oct @ 11:17am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 9:55am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 27 Oct @ 11:50am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 12:51pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 11:03am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 20 Oct @ 2:54pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 8 Oct @ 12:01pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 10:24am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 26 Oct @ 7:37am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 18 Oct @ 11:09am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 26 Oct @ 11:42am

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 26 Oct @ 11:42am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 20 Oct @ 2:56pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 10:55am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 8 Oct @ 10:01am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2023 @ 9:53am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 9:31am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 11:32am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 8 Oct @ 10:45am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2023 @ 9:47am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 10:24am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 10:07am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 9:42am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 9 Oct @ 9:08am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 9:34am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 9:51am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 11:37am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 10:55am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 9:36am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 20 Oct @ 2:31pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 26 Oct @ 7:14am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 7 Oct @ 9:32am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 18 Oct @ 9:42am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 26 Oct @ 11:42am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 10 Oct @ 1:48pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 15 Oct @ 11:55am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 18 Oct @ 5:38am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 18 Oct @ 7:33am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 27 Oct @ 2:47pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Unlocked 27 Oct @ 2:47pm

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 27 Oct @ 2:47pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 27 Oct @ 11:43am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 18 Oct @ 4:59am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 27 Oct @ 1:05pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 18 Oct @ 7:13am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 19 Oct @ 9:37am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 8 Oct @ 4:31am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

4,294 / 5,000