I am a terrorist with a simple lifelong dream


To plant a C4 bomb with my 5-strong team


So I got in a queue and waited my turn


Till it was time for my match to confirm


So as the game loaded in I shook with anticipation


Until shrieks of 'cyka' destroyed my feeling of elation


For to my dismay I'd been matched with a clan


Of russian patriots who were stalin's biggest fan


So as the warmup ended they declared 'RASH B'


Their microphones obnoxious and loud as can be


But as they stood in spawn with the timer counting down


On the clan leader's face there began to form a frown


He glared into my eyes with his crosshair on my head


And asked me if I'm russian, for if I'm not I should be dead


But as I replied 'da' I knew I was in a trap


As him and all his mates started spouting russian crap


And I didn't understand a word so I just stood there and waited


Knowing when the round started I was going to be baited


When I found myself alone in tunnels I knew I'd been tricked


But as they rushed out long their leader got picked


So they all crouched in pit with their A rush dream shattered


Not to mention their comrade, whose brains had been splattered


Then along came an enemy with aimhacks and walls


And the russians screamed 'CYKA, THIS GAME SUCKS BALLS'


So they abandoned the match and I was left all alone


With a team of dumb bots who were sadly quite prone


To rush CT spawn with a bizon SMG


And I thought to myself; That's enough CS for me.