bro wtf are these comments

What the ♥♥♥♥ did you say to me? If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't get involved in matters that aren't yours. I knew you were like that. I come to St. Santa Claus and he tells me that someone tricked me and that I was naughty. The new bucket and shovel went to hell. The only thing that makes me happy is that you'll get ♥♥♥♥ too, because I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ you up too, and we could exchange toys... hahah, keep sending and making fun of people

The greatest monster hunter of all monster hunters.
REP ++++++++++++++

I am 13. Just my grandpa and I are staying down at his shack at the moment. I've been sleeping with no clothes on for the passed few nights because it feels better and my grandpa doesn't come into my room much, so he wouldn't know. But this morning I accidentally slept in so grandpa came in to wake me up. I had morning wood (an erection in the morning that is caused in your sleep) and I had kicked the covers off during the night so I was laying there naked, with a hard-on (how embaressing!!). Grandpa quickly went out of the room and we weren't talking because it was awkward. Then later on today I was wanking off in the bathroom (which doesn't have a lock) when I thought my grandpa was outside. He walked in just as I was ejaculating and groaning with orgasm. One day doesn't get much more embaressing than that!! How unlucky. My grandpa and I haven't talked for seven hours now. What should I say to him?

I will steal your goose.

+rep nicest pyro