pssst check ur discord homie

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]

The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large security panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: "-AAAAalright then."

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder]

Spy: "Gentlemen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"