Reddit, am I the arsehole?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?

Hentai is better than porn, and I can point out multiple reasons on why my statement is a solid fact. Firstly, hentai allows for people to escape the boundaries of normal porn, as they are not bound by any physical, psychological, or plain impossible limitations that normal porn has due to being filmed in the real world. Hentai, on the other hand, is not bound by anything, as it is either drawn or animated. This allows for the absolute creativity for hentai artists to be able to have when crafting their works in order to pleasure another person. Secondly, hentai is able to have better stories. In normal porn, you have all the same types of stories, such as incest.

AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?

Hajime ni kami wa tentochito o sōzō sa reta. 2 Ji wa katachi naku, munashiku, yami ga ♥♥♥♥♥ no o mote ni ari,-shin no rei ga mizu no o mote o ōtte ita. 3 Kami wa hikariare' to iwa reta. Suruto hikari ga atta. 4 Kami wa sono hikari o mite, yoshi to sa reta. Kami wa sono hikari to yami to o wake rareta. 5 Kami wa hikari o hiru to nadzuke, yami o yoru to nadzuke rareta. Yū to nari, mata asa to natta. Dai ichi-nichidearu. 6 Kami wa mata iwa reta,mizu no ma ni o ozo-ra ga atte, mizu to mizu to o wake yo'. 7 Sonoyōni natta. Kami wa o ozo-ra o tsukutte, o ozo-ra no ♥♥♥♥♥ no mizu to o ozo-ra no ue no mizu to o wake rareta.AMEN

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