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Perform well...

Get a feel for Campaign mode.

Travel a great distance...

Get really good at Campaign mode.

Exceed expectations...

Become a ninja of Campaign mode.

Create a Super Floor Trap...

Find out what makes a Floor Trap extra angry.

Dip beneath lasers...

Complete the three Laser-based Challenges.

Get revenge...

Find out how to turn the tables.

Feel the desire for velocity...

Get the most out of your Sprint.

Two birds with one Stun...

Get two bonuses with a single Stun trap.

Five foot diameter, five feet deep, one per day...

Learn to appreciate your Dig.

Bundle up...

Put on so many jackets that you can't put your arms down.

Learn the hidden power of teleportation...

And not just the fact that you can teleport in this game. It's a video game. Of course you can teleport.

Show off some perfect stealth...

Max Food/No Damage, four levels in a row.

Make things hard for yourself...

It's a certain setting in Custom Level mode.

Difficult; spicy; rude; anxious; amazing.

Show that you're a Campaign pro while starting on a high enough difficulty setting.

It's a secret...

No, seriously. It's a secret.