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-- Fran Lebowitz
😯
Viking, n.:
1. Daring Scandinavian seafarers, explorers, adventurers,
entrepreneurs world-famous for their aggressive, nautical import
business, highly leveraged takeovers and blue eyes.
2. Bloodthirsty sea pirates who ravaged northern Europe beginning
in the 9th century.
Hagar's note: The first definition is much preferred; the second is used
only by malcontents, the envious, and disgruntled owners of waterfront
property.
🤒
Most people can't understand how others can blow their noses differently
than they do.
-- Turgenev
🤧
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
😫
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