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hey bro what's up! just wanted to let you know you look totally submissive and breedable

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture. i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why it's a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches haha. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you 😉 sorry that wasnt flirtring i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk you look really nice and fun xxx

ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS! ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS!

There is a ♥♥♥ alert in aisle 4!

Someone came all over the floor. There is ♥♥♥ everywhere. You cannot stand in aisle 4 without seeing or feeling semen. The amount of sperm and ejaculate in aisle 4 is simply unnatural. Please for the love of God, we need a cleanup in aisle 4. This lagoon of ♥♥♥ must have been produced by a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ blue whale. Oh God I can smell it. The ♥♥♥ has invaded my nostrils. There is so much ♥♥♥. I cannot see. It's all white. Everything. White. Mom please help. SOS. Someone call 911, or 411, or a scientist I don't know. I'm *gargling noises* drowning- in- *more thick phlegm gargling* ♥♥♥! *dial tone*