Satan Mother's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 12:22pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 3:32pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 1:16pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 1:30pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 12:58pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 2:07pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 5:42pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 4:27pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2015 @ 4:56pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2015 @ 6:29pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2017 @ 2:09am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2015 @ 12:54pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2015 @ 12:45pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 5:22pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2015 @ 9:42am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 5:46pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2015 @ 6:33pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2015 @ 6:29pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2015 @ 6:29pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 4:27pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2014 @ 4:08pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 12:34pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 1:44pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 12:59pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 12:21pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2015 @ 5:50pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 10:26pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2015 @ 12:45pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2014 @ 12:57pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2015 @ 9:25am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

3 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

4 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

17 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

2 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

15 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

21 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

23 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30