wow. woOoOoOw. 😵 WOW. SO you guys are SO INTO 🙌 yourselves 💅🏾, like, you are SO committed 💍👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 to CENSORING🤐🚫 innocent people 👶 that you’re just gonna go and try and get MY patreon DELETED🔥 now. oh, you have and OPINION 📝😡🙄 of me, so you’re just gonna trY and RUIN 💣🧨 my entire career 👨‍💻. REALLYmmmmIS THAT what you’re GOING to DO? OH i’m SORRY 😐 ,the FBI 👮🕵️‍♂️ never SHOWED UPHHHOH IM Sorry the cOPS 🚓 👮 ARE ALL ABOUT ONION BOY 👦 because TURNS OUT didn’t break 1️⃣ hhhLAW 👮🤯!!! SO WHAT DO WE DO 🧐🤔??? OhHhahwhwhH WELL our opinions 👩‍💻 have been invalidated 🚫🛑 SO many times ⏰ of him tHAT we’re gufnfnfha disable 🚫 HISP ATREON. Woaowowe.. 😵 wow 🤯you would really do that??? YOU WOOULDREALLYDO THAT??? GHHHHHHNNNNHHHHHHH!!!!! 😡🤬 Slurp 🥤... You TRIIIIED TO DO THE FBI 🕵️‍♂️ 🚔BUT IT DIDNT HHHWORK!!!! YOU TRIED TO DO PO-LICE 🚓👮👮‍♀️,,, DIDNT WOoRK?!! So, instead... you resorts to the PAYCHECK!!!.?.!. 💰💴AND yOU GOT IT!!! 👍 HHHYOU GOT IT!!! 💪🙌 ALL MY PATREONS 👭 👩‍💻 HAve been gggrrrDELETED🚫... hnnhhh.. are you HAPPY 😁🙂 HNNNNOW????! aaaaaaAAaaaaaIH! IFHFHJDHDHDHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HNNNNFHHFGFH!!!! 😡🤬😡🤬😡 Is tHis wHat yOu wAnt HuUuUh???? 🧐 Is this whAt Uou waNana TOTAL MELTdOoOown.!.!.!??? 🤯🤬 🌋 YA LIKE kombucha??? 🍾I lUuuUuurve KombUcha!!! 🥤🥴 wuUuU!!! WUUuhhHhh!!!WoOoOoowh!!! OHH!! DriNks🥤like PEE 💦 And smells even WORSE🤢🤮.... OooooH!!! OOOOOH!!!! ooOoOh!! WUUUOHHH!! wuuuuhhhh my patreonsdeleted.... wuUuUuUg my paTreon!!! UUuUu.. UUUUUU....!!! 🤬😡🤯🤬🧐😤What AM I GONNA DO... WHWHWHATAMIGONNADONOW WWW. ,, 😠 WHAMGONNBLUUU... MruuUuUh,,, 😡 MRUUUUUUUH,,, 😤 MrruuUUuwHATAMIGUNNADO🤬.....WHATAMIGO NA DO🌋.. I’m cOVERED in KOMBUCHA😵☔️ and i have NO MORE PATREON 💻💸










To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Cory in the House. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Cory’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Cory in the House truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Cory’s existential catchphrase “You Know How I Do,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dennis Rinsler's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Cory in the House tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kiddo 😎