Roses are red, violets are blue, my hectic VL Turbo goes sutututututu!

📁Local Disk (C:)
└📁Program Files (x86)
⠀└📁steam
⠀⠀└📁steamapps
⠀⠀⠀└📁common
⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁DayZ
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁Skills
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁 Aim
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly ♥♥♥ every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.

I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of seizing the means of production from the dirty bourgeoisie. People say to me that a person being a historical communist revolution is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon instal hammers, sickles, and other assorted proletariat farming tools on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Comrade" and respect my right to seize the means of production and free the working class. If you can't accept me you're an oppressor and need to check your capitalist privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.

I'm Rick Harrison, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know what is gonna come through that door.

The one thing worse than genocide. One must first have no shame. Then he/she must use a newspaper to find the obituary of a recently deceased man or woman. Then must find a buddy, with no shame, who will aid them in this act. The partners then go to the cemetary where they dig up their victim, and flip a coin. The loser, (or winner depending on how sick you are), applies his/her lips to the genitals or anus of the corpse, while the other partner procedes to climb the nearest tombstone and elbow drop the corpse's stomach. Thus forcing out a blend of rich bodily fluids and embalming materials onto the partner's face. This blend is called mung. The act of getting this blend on your face is called munging. Chicks'll dig this one.