Recent reviews by Swiss Cheese

Absolute garbage

RUN AROUND DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON LOOKING FOR HALF A DOZEN GOATS THAT HAVE BEEN STUFFED WITH DRUGS. SHOVE THEM ALL INTO THE BACK OF A TRUCK CONGRATULATIONS YOU'VE FINISHED DAY ONE. THAT ONLY TOOK ABOUT 45 MINUTES BECAUSE NONE OF THE OTHER THREE PEOPLE ON THE TEAM WERE LOOKING FOR THEM AT ALL. WELCOME TO DAY 2. GET DROPPED OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NO WHERE WITH THE GOATS AND SOME GUY THATS SUPPOSED TO CUT THEM OPEN AND REMOVE THE DRUGS. OH NO. RIVAL GANG MEMBERS HAVE ARRIVED OUTSIDE TO TAKE THE GOATS. FIGHT THEM AND THE POLICE THAT EVENTUALLY COME AS WELL WHILE WAITING FOR A CAGE TO GET DROPPED OFF. BUILD THAT CAGE AND SHOVE ALL OF THE GRAVITY DEFYING GOATS INSIDE IT. WAIT FOR THE PLANE PILOT TO COME BACK AND MISS THE CAGE PICKUP 17 TIMES EVEN THOUGH YOU BOUGHT ACE PILOT WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO INCREASE THE SUCCESS CHANCE. GET INSIDE THE SAME CAR THAT WAS USED IN A COMPLETELY UNRELATED MISSION BEFORE THIS ONE AND DRIVE DOWN A COUNTRY ROAD FOR A WHILE UNTIL YOU GET TO A BRIDGE. BUT OH NO, THE BRIDGE IS TURNED THE WRONG WAY. BREAK INTO A CONTROL BOOTH AND WAIT ONE AND A HALF ETERNITIES FOR THE BRIDGE TO TURN AROUND. DRIVE INTO A TUNNEL, CRASH THE CAR INTO THE SIDE OF A TRUCK, BACK IT UP AND THEN DRIVE SUCCESFULLY INTO THE BACK OF SAID TRUCK. CONGRATULATIONS YOU'VE EXPERIENCED EVERYTHING THE GOAT SIMULATOR DLC HAS TO OFFER. NOW GO BACK AND DO A COUPLE OF ACHIEVEMENTS SO YOU CAN HAVE SOME CRAPPY MASKS TO SHOW OFF TO EVERYONE TO SAY "HEY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. LOOK HOW BAD WITH MONEY I AM".

I found that it had a really interesting and thrilling story as i played through each level, killing an orphanned cat in various way from shooting it repeatedly to letting loose a small chihuahua that eats everything but its bones in mere seconds.

I especially found the general sounds and music that was used to be extremely well done. So much so that i didn't feel that i was worthy of listening to it's grace and turned my sound all the way down whenever i launched it.

Overall it's a really good strategy game that really has a lot that everyone can learn and enjoy. I hope that in the sequel we will see even more cameos from the members of isis like there was in this one.

9/10
It would have been a 10/10 but there wasn't quite enough 1080p anime titties in it for it to be a perfect game. I hope they fix that in the next one.

10/10 but i warn you that after playing this masterpiece of pixels all other games you will ever play will become instantly inferior. nothing will ever be as satisfying to play no matter what it is. got it for 9 cents, deffinately good value for money. get a copy for yourself, a copy for your friend actually get a copy for all your friends and family too.

I liked the different dialogue some characters had and depending on whether you let them in or not changes future characters, newspaper stories and game endings.