Recent reviews by Splongdorius

shark eat too much wood, bad for tummy

I want the goth girl to hit me with a rock

i need a fillipino gf to teach me piano and beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of me

the children yearn for the fields

two bosses in this game are bugged and cannot be killed.
the quick time prompts often have you press F and V together which comes just as natural as WASD.
you have to install a cracked version of games for windows live to literally play the game
the story is all over the place
the controls are janky and unintuitive

but chris punches a boulder and yells at sheva a lot so yeah play it

i want to like this game, and i like to think that when i finish it my opinions may change, but for now I think it's a wasted potential. this game has lots of charm and reminds me of Emily is Away, but the text options feel lazy and the conversation between these two feel forced with little chemistry. i think it can be better, so i will leave a positive review for now

edit: i'm calling this game a 5/10, just enough to be positive. it's free, short, sweet, has doable achievements, and is generally a fair use of time.

however, to reiterate, it IS a wasted potential. the texting seems awfully boring, the characters were kind of nothing, i just didn't really feel the kind of development the game wanted. the writing could use work and the linear story could use a few more options and paths.

game is a classic. a story that sucks you in with endless side quests to keep you busy. pc port is awful tho, getting 20-30 fps during busy sections with good hardware

this game sucks ya in real quick. a very interesting story with fun and surprising twists that supports a cast of well-written characters. the graphics are simple yet the game is nice to look at. and of course, the replay value is through the roof.

from an actual girl: writer simply does not know what a clit looks like. then again, i don't either.
this is the best ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game i have ever played in my life. the other girl - cousin - was a smokin hot mama mia piece of pizza. auntie is a cop and i fricking hate pigs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from an actual gamer:
" writer does in fact know what a clit looks like. intense story and gameplay, i would rate it up there with God of War and Witcher 3. I am simply baffled that this game did not win any awards, yet Todd Howard still sells Fallout 76. thats it"

lots of tiddies and big butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahah yeahhhh!!! yeah boys!!! yeah. yeah.
i (don't) like the rapoe - thats a not guud

8/10 more feet next time please. if you need voice acting please contact me at my linked in page linkedin.com/housespeakernancypelosi on god no cap
i paid 7 CAD dollars for this - can someone please step on me?

gud