I’m the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on. On behalf of the owner, the staff team and myself, I would like to personally extend my thanks to you for the $1,000 you forked up to help keep our server alive! Our modeler is happily working on the custom pony character that came with the donor package, however I regret to inform you that we don’t currently have a way to send you the 20″ “horse shaft” you requested but our team is working on it. Once again, thank you sincerely for the donation, and we hope to see you back on the server soon.

Best Regards,
PinkieCraft Server Manager
“Keep on clopping.”

I like to spread my butt before plopping it down onto the ol’ porcelain throne because it helps the soft snakes come out of hiding a lot more then just sitting down without spreading em like a convict. It also reduces the amount I have to wipe since the nasty little turds aren’t rubbing elbows-so to speak-with the inside of my fat rosy cheeks.

The issue is, it’ll sometimes have a sort of splash damage effect while wiping, if you will. There will be little specks of poo cozied up on the rear end (get it haha) of the toilet seat. I choose not to clean it off because my house, my rules. However my wife for some reason seems to think this is an issue. Every time she goes into the bathroom after I go I hear her go “AUGHHH, REALLY BABE?!” Followed by sanitization procedure sounds. Idk never cleaned up before.

I’ve tried telling her that it must be done, my cheeks being spread allow the torpedos to sink the battleship, but she just isn’t having it.

I baked you a pie
Oh boy what flavor?
PIE PIE PIE

Hey dad I'm hungry
Hi hungry I'm dad!
Why did you name me this way?
WHY WHY WHY?!

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