✠ BigHairyGustavo's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 4:30am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2024 @ 2:45pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 4:18am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 12:41pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 5:50am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 4:16am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 8:48am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 8 Jun, 2020 @ 6:42am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 8 Jun, 2020 @ 11:00am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2024 @ 1:40pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 8 Jun, 2020 @ 6:36am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2024 @ 3:52am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2024 @ 2:40pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2024 @ 7:17am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 8:23am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 5:27am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2024 @ 1:53pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 10:02am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 5:20am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 9:52am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2024 @ 2:30pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2020 @ 4:39am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 1 Jan @ 4:56am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2024 @ 7:02am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 4:22am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2020 @ 4:44am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 4:06am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2024 @ 4:36am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2024 @ 2:28am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 4:39am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 5:52am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2024 @ 2:04pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 4:40am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 4:05am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 3:55am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Jun, 2020 @ 5:54am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2024 @ 1:43pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2020 @ 4:04am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2024 @ 4:32pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2024 @ 1:58pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2024 @ 1:45pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2024 @ 2:18pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2024 @ 2:22am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 27 Dec, 2024 @ 3:01am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

10 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

10 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

2 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

12 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000