There once was a pirate who roamed the high seas
Looting and plundering wherever she pleased
But her crew were all perverts and demanded that they
Receive more than just gold and silver in pay.
"Captain," they said, "You are quite a beauty,
why don't you give us all some of your booty?"
The captain demanded they all walk the plank,
and the very next day she went down to the bank.
She converted all her gold into paper money,
and went to the store "Kitties Puppies and Bunnies."
She bought the whole lot of the cats in the store,
and then the next day she went back and bought more.
She gave them eyepatches and little peg legs,
And put catnip instead of beer in their kegs.
Since her old crew of men had been so utterly smarmy,
She now sails the high seas with her cat pirate army.
-MundiMori