Recent reviews by Bellmo The Great

I hate that we have to shoot the dealer in this game. I always just point the gun at myself and fire it off in the hopes I unload all the live rounds so that the dealer doesn't shot himself. Poor guy deserves better than this! He's a precious cinnamon roll and needs protecting.

#JusticeForTheDealer

I was actually lucky enough to play this game back when it first came out... the Nintendo DS version. And any gameplay of the PS3 or Xbox 360 version was minimal at a friend’s house. Yeah. But hey, I'm older now, I can buy my own games for whatever system I want. Not that I think people would of really been upset over me growing up with the DS version because, well... this game wasn't actually that popular when it first came out back in 2008. It had very mixed reviews from people. I mean there were still people back then who did still love this, it would be stupid to say "nO oNe LiKeS oR pLaYs ThIs GaMe." I'm looking at you Super Smash Bros fanbase. As you might of guessed though as the years went on so did the positive reception also grew and some people even say it’s there favourite Star Wars game. It’s kinda ironic when you think about, this came out only three years after the end of the Prequel Trilogy which everyone hated now everyone loves them… Well, I don’t love the prequels anymore, I think they are poorly written, some of the special effects looks terrible nowadays and I can’t take Yoda flipping about the place seriously but that’s beside the point.

To me the best part about Force Unleased is defiantly the gameplay. It just feels really fun to slice your way through a whole bunch of enemies using both your lightsabre and all the different combos you unlock but also all the different force powers you get! Force lighting which you can actually apply to your own lightsabre, being able to grab and throw guys around with the force and not to mention the force repulse move! One of my favourite parts of this game though is actually the opening level because in this level your playing as Darth Vader with all the games abilities unlocked from the start and you can just go and let loose and it’s incredibly fun but it also works from a sort of meta standpoint because for the rest of the game past this point your playing as Vader’s secret apprentice Starkiller (fun fact, this was actually what Luke Skywalker was originally going to be called in the movies) who’s still new to all this and you have to work your way up to unlocking all those powers. Or you can just play the game on a new game plus save and throw any sort of progression out the window! I also love how there is actually a decent bit of customization as well since you can change the colour of your lightsabre by finding Jedi Holocrons around the levels as well as costumes. You get a new level specific one each level but your free to wear whatever you like. Once I found the Black Saber Crystal that was pretty much all I used both because I love the look of it and also because it does remind me a little of the Mandalorian arc of the Clone Wars animated series. Ironically, this release of the game also comes with a skin for Starkiller that makes him look like he just came out of the animated series. Then there’s the DLC that takes place in an alternate timeline where, and massive spoiler alert for the games ending by the way so stop reading if you don’t want this 13 year old game spoiled for you, it’s set after the main games bad ending where you pretty much change history by killing Darth Vader and Starkiller ends up becoming the Emperor’s new right hand man. In these DLC’s you play though alternate versions of the openings of A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back and no joke end up killing both Boba Fett, Obi Wan and force Luke to give into the Dark Side. Yeah, it’s incredibly dark but I honestly love the idea of the DLC being set in an alternate Star Wars history I wish more games would do something like this. Not just more Star Wars games but just more games in general.

So what don’t I like about this game? Well honestly, my least favourite thing about this game is actually the story. Spesificlly no one dies in this game! How the hell is Kota even still alive? The last time we see him before finding him again in Bespin is falling to his death on a space station on a crash course to the planet surface. Not only that Starkiller is thrown into a vacuum of space but he’s left out there for five months and he somehow manages to survive! At least in Force Unleashed 2 they use the Cloning facility on Kamino to justify his return even though I still think it’s a contrived way of bringing him back. Then PROXY is stabbed though the chest and crushed under the rubble of a Star Destroyer yet still survives. Also it’s hard to deny that the only reason PROXY even turns into Darth Maul during your battle with him is just for the sake of fan service. I mean they even play Duel of the Fates in the background. And do I even need to mention that terrible section of the game where you have to use the force to pull a Star Destoryer out of the sky but the prompts telling you what to do aren’t very clear?

But yeah, that’s my thought on this Star Wars game. Do I think it’s a good game? Yes. Would I say it’s one of the better Star Wars games? Just basing it on gameplay alone it’s one of my favourites. Would I put this as high as something like Devil May Cry or Bayonetta in terms of hack and slashes or beat em ups? No, not really. But again, I still think this is a really fun Star Wars game and one that I still enjoy going back to it, especially now since I have the main version that everyone else had.

My experience with Saints Row 2 was an inconsistent one. During my time with this game there was a lot of things I loved such as the customisation, the city of Stillwater and just how much there is to do. On the other hand though there was also a lot about this game that affected my experience, both when I first got this game back in 2017 and recently when I decided to play the Xbox 360 version... a mouth before it went free for those with an Xbox Gold membership, lol, in a negative way.

I guess I should start with the positive stuff first and one of those is the games world. Still water is honestly one of the best city's in any open world game I've played. It's visually impressive to look at, each district feels unique and I find it really impressive that this is the same city from Saints Row 1 yet it manages to feel different enough from the first game. A lot of that is from the fact that the city is re designed in a lot of areas as well as some new locations such as the university, power plant and prison. And there's a lot to do in this city two outside the main story. From side activities to diversions to collectables or just the classic open world mayhem. Granted, some of the stuff you can do in this game is better than others, trust me I'll get to that, but this is one of those games where you could play for hours beyond betting the main story. It helps two that fully completing each of this games activities and diversions awards you with new stuff. Weather it be clothing, guns, vehicles, homies, there is always a reason to do something in this game. And of course, I can't talk about Saints Row 2 with out bringing up the most defining aspect of this series, the customisation. You can customise practically EVERYTHING about your character from there voice, skin tone, body shape, facial features, nose size, brow, chin, under shirts, over shirts, coasts, belts, socks, everything about your character can be changed up. It should be no surprise that a lot of people who play this game try to re create other characters from fiction because of it. And it's not just your character either. You can also customise your cars, cribs, even the style of your gang. To say this game "gives you a lot of freedom" isn't enough. More like this game is one big toy box you can play with and there are no rules stopping you.

When you consider everything I just listed of I should love Saints Row 2. But again, while there is a lot of stuff about this game I love there is also a lot I don't like, i.e. everything else.

Problem 1: The PC version of this game is awful!
Let's get the obvious one out of the way. The PC release of Saints Row 2 is the worst version you could get. This isn't just my opinion either, even the people who are die hard fans of this game and say that it's the "best game of all time" even though that's an incredibly contentious statement, say that this version is horrible. From the game crashing at cretin points to animations not working properly in cut scenes and whats worse is that all the DLC that was released for the Xbox 360 version has never been ported to this version. The most common defence is to download the Gentelmen of the Row mod since it fixes a lot of the issues with the PC version as well as adding in new content like extra gang theams and new weapons. I should only have to download a mod like this to add to the experience, not feel like it's mandatory to fix issues with a 12 year old game. Even with the mod I still crash.

2. Your forced to grind for respect if you want to progress the story.
This is what turned me off from Saints Row 2 for the longest time. If your playing this game for the story then you can't just progress from mission to mission. You have to grind for Respect by playing side activities first. My question is why? Why do I have to grind these side actives, most of which like Crowd Control and Chop Shop I don't even like playing anyway, just to continue the story? The only reason this isn't a worse issue for me is because the game does allow you to replay any mission you have already done and I highly recommend doing that on repeat playthoughs rather than starting a new file.

3. Carlos.
So Carlos is a character who helps you break out of prison, has about three minuets of screen time and then dies. Thats it! Okay I'm sorry... actually, no I'm not because I shouldn't have to apologise for my opinion but am I missing something here? Why is the death of Carlos considered this sad and emotional moment in the series when we barley get to know anything about this guy? Not to mention the "emotional" impact of this scene can be ruined entirely if you go out of your way to make your character look like the most hideous thing ever. In fact, I highly recommend visiting a plastic surgeon before this mission to drive my point in further.

4. The AI can be pretty bad regardless of what version I played this game on.
From characters running into walls or fences to my own gang running me over to one point in a mission where a follower I had killed a vital NPC that I needed to keep alive all because I took them as a human shield.

5. The Towtruck Diversion. Just.... The Tow Truck Diversion
Anyone who's played this game knows what I'm talking about. When your just driving the tow truck by it self it's fine but the moment you attach another car to the back suddenly it becomes the most uncontrollable thing in the world. Doesn't help two that at higher levels you get swarmed by police and rivals gangs and did I mention that the cars in this game feel like they are made of glass? This diversion wouldn't even be so bad if you could repair your truck during the diversion but no. The only reason I was able to beat this diversion in the first place was by regularly getting out of the truck so that the police and gangs focused there fire on me and not the truck. I'm hesitant to call it an "Exploit" because it's really just the games mechanics working as intended.

6. There are points where it expects you to know the story of the first Saints Row game.
While it doesn't do this ALL the time, moments like the true final mission feels like you have to have knowledge of the events of the first Saints Row game to truly enjoy it. That would be fine if it wasn't for the fact that the first Saints Row is an Xbox 360 exclusive, has never been released on anything else despite a Playstation 3 and Wii versions being planned and no word on a re-release has ever been dropped.

I was really hesitant to give this game a thumbs up because of my inconsistent experience with it. But I didn't want to give it a thumbs down either because truth be told it's not a bad game either. Honestly I would still recommend giving this game a go anyway, preferably on the Xbox 360 if you could, because it is still a really fun and rewarding game. But when I see people say that this is one of the "greatest games of all time" I can't help but feel a little cynical because of all the issues that no one ever seems to bring up.

Okay let's see. This game is basiclly a AOL simulator. Okay, that's cool. There are a bunch of fake websites created for the purpose of this game. Cool, cool. It has multiple endings and a story that I found myself pretty invested in. Nice. But I don't see myself coming back to this game more than a few times unless...

*See's that there is a mode to talk with your steam friends using this interface even if they don't own the game using the Emily Online function* Hands down best game I have played in 2019! Why would I ever use anything else ever again?

So, here we are. The most recent Shantae game before Shantae 5. And if it wasn't Pirates Curse that boosted Shantae's popularity then it was definitely this game. And with good reason two because this is a really great game. Of course personal bias makes me love Pirates Curse a bit more but hey you should expect at least some bias when talking about a game or even a series you love so much.

So if you have been following this series since the first game or even Risky's Revenge or just watched or read about Shantae because you had no real Interest in playing it yourself then what is Shantae's most defining power? Her transformation dances. But at the end of Risky's Revenge and for all of Pirates Curse she didn't have them. Well she has them back now. Why she has them back here is kind of a spoiler for the true ending of Pirates Curse so I won't say why but yes, the transformations are back. There are classic like the monkey, elephant, harpy, spider and mermaid but there are also a lot of new one's such as the crab, bat and mouse. Every single transformation in this game has some sort of use especially, since you can find upgrades and powers for each one, and transforming is much easier to do this time around since all you have to do is just press a button and it will bring up a menu of your transformations. You can only have eight transformations on you however but thanks to the new character Tuki found in a few areas you can not only buy some of the non-essential transformations such as the dryad or jar but also learn non transformation dances that either blow up everything around you or warp you to the end of previous complete levels, yeah this game has levels this time around I'll get to that soon. Oh and can I just go off topic for a second to say that I just really really really like Tuki? I shouldn't considering she's not even relevant to the story but maybe it's just the design or maybe it's the mystery of what the hell is in her pot but dam I love her. Or maybe Wayfoawrd just knows how to make good waifus without needing to make them deep or emotional. Hello Patricha Wagon from Might Switch Force.

Moving on from the dances brings me to one of the biggest changes Half Genie Hero has over the other three. Rather than being a Metroidvainia with big connected world Half Genie Hero has traditional levels that still have key items you may not be able to access until later when you have that dance while Scuttle Town act's as the hub world to buy items or progress the story. I've seen some people say they are fine with this change while others saying they miss the old style. And honestly, I am one of those people that does prefer the old style but I still liked how the game is structured here since it does still have some of the old Metroidvania elements from the other games. And honestly repeated trips to the levels I'm fine with since other than the levels being all fun and varied you will most likely have a new transformatin each time you go back so there is always something new to explore. Plus you don't have to do the whole level again either since if you quit the level via the bird whistle you still keep everything you collected. I never look forward to the Hypno Baron’s castle though because the whole thing is just a complicated maze with doors that I always forget where they will take me plus I'm not a fan of the duel boss fight with both Squid Barron and Hypno Baron when they take up a lot of the screen. But honestly that's only one part of an otherwise great and fun game. I guess if I did have one other criticism before I get back into the good stuff is that just like with Risky's Revenge this game is pretty short.

But hey, you want to extend your time with the game? So do I! That's where the DLC comes in. Miss the old Pirate Gear from Pirates Curse? Well the Pirate Queens Quest DLC has you covered not only letting you play as series villain Risky Boots but her gameplay involves using all the gear Shantae used in Pirates Curse including some new ones like the grappling hook and being able to summon a Tinker Bat to fight alongside you. Yeah, it's kind of my personal favourite and I even like that this one even serves as a kind of alternate ending for the main story where rather than Risky Boots being the final boss since your playing as her it is instead of course Shantae. There is also Friends to the End where rather than one character with multiple abilities it's three each with two unique abilities. My zombie waifu Rottytops who is able to detach her head to pass though dark barriers and heal herself by feasting on a random brain, my could of been waifu if she didn't have a stick shoved up her ass all the time Sky who can create a platform to stand on while also using a bird to attack and... *sigh* Bolo. To be fair he is actually pretty useful here with his hook for platforming but unless Shantae 5 redeems him somehow I still hate this guy and dread playing as him. Going back to Shantae are three costumes that swap out her transformations for either being a ninja that can cling to walls and vanish, wearing a swimsuit that turns the game into a speed run since you always have to either be in water or collect sun screen or the heat of the sun will kill you and a costume that mixes in the gameplay of Might Switch Force. There was even a free update to the game in mid-2018 that added in one last gameplay mode where Shantae is in her panamas and can float on a cloud. To me all the DLC is worth getting if you want to extend your time with the game. And given my love for Pirates Curse I think you can tell what one is my favourite.

What else is there for me to talk about? Oh right, the visuals. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ does this game look amazing! Yeah, I love the cartoony graphics even though Shantae once again looks as if she's suffering from some sort of age reversing curse each game! I swear if this is how good they can make this game then that kind of makes me want a Shantae Animated Series. As long as Cristina Valenzuela, the voice actress who plays Shantae, get's to sing to opening like she does in the first level and credits.

You know, when I sat down to write my review on Risky's Revenge I never intended to do the whole series. Or at least the games that are available on Steam. But honestly, I'm really glad I did since no matter what game I'm playing there is always something I love about each of them and Half Genie Hero is no different. Here's to Shantae 5.

I'll be honest, this game is really special to me. Not just because it was the first Shantae game I played in the series but because the time at which I first played this game. I don't really want to go to deep into the detail since it pretty personal but back at the start of 2016 I was going through some pretty depressing events involving my family and let's just say those events didn't exactly put me in a happy mood. So I had done what I had always done to cheer myself up, play video games. But I wanted to also play something new. I wanted to play a game I haven’t played yet but wanted to out of curiosity. I wanted to play a Shantae game. So I got it for my 3DS while all that personal stuff was going on and I loved it. When I played it for the first time it brought me so much joy and happiness that it managed to become one of my top 10 favourite games of all time and the only other games that managed to do that around that same time were Xenoblade Chronicles and Fire Emblem Awakening along with Shantae herself being one of my personal favourite characters in fiction. And maybe I am bias but to me this is the best game in the series. And quiet frankly there is no other better way I can think of for celebrating the 17th anniversary of this series than talking about my favourite game in it. And yeah the anniversary does also kind of influence my decision to buy this game again... Despite already owning it on the 3DS and Switch. Hey I have Grand Theft Auto San Andreas on four different systems so this isn't the first time.

Pirates Curse follows the same progressive structer as the first two games where you travel across the game world to collect important items and powers that are needed to progress. In this game you go to different islands to clear out the dens of evil on each to put a stop to the plans of the soon to be resurrected Pirate Master who also happens to be Risky Boot's, the main villain of the series, old master but since not even she wants him back she begrudgingly needs Shantae to help her. You know story has never been the biggest part of this series but for the sake of the plot I actually like that Risky is working with Shantae especially since this game actually does flesh out Risky a little bit, mostly her connection to her old master. But if there is any character in this game that I love the most because of the development they get it's Rottytops. I can't actually say why because of spoiler reasons but on the second last island before the final one you will see why.

So if you know anything about Shantae then you know that she is a half genie that has the ability to transform by dancing. Because of story spoilers in Riskey's Revenge she no longer has those powers making her just a full human. In exchange however this game let's you use the various different pirate gear you find in the games labyrinths to progress. These involve a flintlock pistol, a hat for floating in the air, a scimitar that can be used for a downward attack while in the air, boots for running fast and a cannon that act's like an additional jump. After playing Pirates Curse I eventually got around to playing the rest of the games in the series and as much as I enjoy the transformations I just can't help but love the pirate gear more especially when the games makes you have to use several of them at once like using the boots to get some speed, then following that up with a jump and glide with the hat while also using the cannon to keep yourself airborne. Instances like this are what put it above the dances for me. I like the transformations but I love the Pirate Gear and I'm so glad that while Shantae does get her transformations back in Half Genie Hero this style of play isn't completely lost since the Pirate Queen's Quest DLC for that game lets you play as Risky Boots and lets you use her gadgets just like here. That is probably the biggest change to the gameplay though there is also stuff like how rather than finding heart containers you have to find four heart squids to bring to the squid smith in Scuttle Town to gain additional health and I'm really glad that when traveling to different islands you are actually given a representation of how many Heart Squids and Craklebats there are on the island along with the ones you have gotten. The Craklebats are Tinkerbats that have been infused with dark magic to make them look more terrifying than there normally cartoonish looking self’s and you need to find and defeat all of them if you want the true ending, yeah this game has two different endings.

Visually the game looks identical to Riskys Revenge with the sprites but there are a lot of new backgrounds, some great music and all of the character portraits being redone with a new art style which I honestly prefer over the Half Genie Hero look though that might just be my bias towards this game talking, again this is a very special to me. Though honestly even if I wasn't I would still agree that this is a great game and I guess if there is one genuine problem I do have with it is that as I said before if you want the true ending to this game you have to find all of the Craklebats which can be hidden in very obscure places. As much as people might hate me for saying this there is no shame in using a walkthrough if your struggling. Oh and also I love Shantae's little coat in this game way to much that I'm disappointed it's probably never coming back.

Though honestly compared to everything I love about this game, the characters, the gameplay and the style that is a very small thing. I have played this game so many times on every other system I own it on and it's not going to be the last. I've said it before in this review but I want to stress just how much this game really means to me and I wouldn't be a fan of this series if it wasn't for this game. And I honestly can’t think of a better game to introduce me to a series that still brings me as much joy as when I first played it. Though really, I just love how this game and this series has fun with itself. In an era where every developer is trying way to hard to make gritty realistic games that think throwing as much controversial content at you will make it the best thing ever this was a breath of fresh air. Happy 17th birthday to this series. Of course I’m not done with it yet.

I am going to try my best NOT to fanboy about this game or even this series. Oh who am I kidding I love this game and I love the Shantae series. Granted this is only my third favourite in the series but Risky's Revenge is still a really great game just purely for what it did do for the series and how it improved on what the first game established in it's gameplay and how after this Pirates Curse came and the rest was history even if this is still a somewhat obscure and niche series. Well about as niche as a series everyone keeps demanding the main Character be added to Smash Bro's can be. But hey, at least she's a better pick for the roster than Doom Guy. Yes, people actually want Doom Guy for Smash. And people wonder why I hate the saying "Listen to the fans."

For as much as the first game has aged over the years (though granted it's at least more playable than some other Gameboy games that also haven't aged as well.) the original Shantae for what it is still an interesting little game. Risky's Revenge improves on everything the first game did. This is a Metroidvainia. I hate that word by the way. You explore the world of Sequin Land and have to find key items to open up new pathways or get access to certain areas, including the labyrinths were you have to find the three magic seals spread across the land. Of course, the items aren’t the only things you need to use to progress. Shantae is a genie... Well half genie. And a belly dancer. And one of her unique abilities is that she can dance to transform into different animals that you use to progress. In this game the animals are the monkey which looks absolutely adorable and can cling to walls, the big ♥♥♥♥ off elephant for charging though cracked bricks and the mermaid because Shantae isn't beautiful enough already. Oh and it also let's her swim underwater. Back in the gameboy game this system was interesting but not very intuitive since you had to input the moves manually meaning that if you forgot what to input you would have to keep going back into the pause menu to see what you were meant to input. Although there was one dance move you could spam where Shantae winked at you and jiggled her butt if you were into that which made it worth it. This time around it's much more streamlined since all you have to do is hold down the button until you get the transformation you need. How usable items work has also been improved. There is a shop in Scuttle Town where you can buy and improve your usable magic items and rather than them all being single use items this time around they all work on a magic meter that can be recharged with magic pots and it also cuts down on having to go back and buy more and more of the same item. And given how Scuttle Town is the only hub world in this game that is a god send. There's even a fast travel system using the squid statues and a map for if you get lost. Some people don't like how the map is designed but honestly I'd just happy I finally have something to help me out if I get lost which doesn't happen to me since I know my way around better than I know maths especially since Sequine Land doesn't loop around like it did in the first game but I like that it's there anyway. There's no Day Night cycle where monsters get stronger at night time anymore which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending on how much you actually liked that system from the first game. And really, I just love the characters. They are not super complex or anything but Rottytops, Risky Boots and especially Shantae are just way to lovable for me to not like them. Same can't be said for Bolo because of how much I hate the stereotypical idiot character! But I absolutely love Rottytops, not for this game but rather because of something in Pirates Curse. The same can also be said for Risky Boots. And of course, Shantae herself is a lovable and funny charicter that I can’t bring myself to dislike in any capacity. Oh, and if you beat this game you get to see Shantae in a golden bikini and panties! No really. Or a blue seashell bikini depending on what version you’re playing. In all seriousness the unlockable Magic Mode is basically this games version of hard mode because while it does give Shantae a nice new look and reduces the magic you use for items you also take less damage as a result meaning that you have to be extra carefull during enemy encounters. Have fun.

In case it wasn't obvious I do genuinely think Shantae: Risky's Revenge is a really great game though I'd be lying if I said it was "Perfect." Then again nothing ever is. Not even Persona 5. And I absolutely love Persona 5. First, Bolo. Because I don't know when else I'm ever going to get a good opportunity to rant about my pure hate for this prick! I said before that I hate Stereotypical Idiot Characters and Bolo is the worst of it. He's not so bad here but his entire existence in this series feels like a plot device. He helps Risky Boots without knowing about what her true intentions are in the first game, he works for Techno Barron in Pirates Curse who's helping Ammo Barron and in Half Genie Hero he fails to deliver something to Shantae's uncle because he is way too into ogling the lady at the bath house. At least put her in Shantae's Magic Mode Outfit from before then I'd be less harsh on him. Is he meant to be comic relife? Because the games are funny enough as they are. Okay now onto the actual criticisms, this game is really short. On my first playthrough it took me only five hours to beat. Apparently it was meant to be episodic, and that would be a reasonable thing to assume given how this game ends, but I don't know where this fact originates from. To be fair, this game does have a fair amount of optional collectables so it could be longer if you wanted it to. Not to mention the boss fights really aren’t that challenging except for the final boss which for story reasons I won't actually talk about. Also, and this is going to seem like a really wired thing to say but Shantae and Rottytops look way older in this game compared to how them look in Pirates Curse and Half Genie Hero. This isn't me trying to say the art is bad because honestly the art for this game is really good.

To end with I am so glad this game happened because if it didn't then we wouldn't of gotten the amazing games that came after this. And honestly even though I think those two are way better it is still worth playing this and maybe even the first game if you’re really that curious though I’d honestly just recommend skipping it unless you’re a massive fan like me. Hey nothing wrong with showing support for a series you love right?

Spec Ops: The Line is an amazing and thought provoking game that will send you on a emotional rollercoaster that will make you question your morality... Is what someone who likes this game would say.

When people told me what Spec Ops: The Line was about when it first came out in 2012 I would sigh and roll my eyes every time because it sounded like the most pretentious thing I have ever heard. Didn't help either that the game looked like every other grey brown military cover shooter which the medium was over saturated with at the time since developers seemed to be to afraid to step outside the box or take risks or try anything that wasn't realistic! But I'm a fair person. Despite not thinking I would enjoy this game at first I decided to finally give this game a try since it was on sale and I'm glad I did because now I don't have to be disappointed in spending full price for this game!

I'll start off with what I actually like first. There are some areas in the game where you can shoot out a window with sand pressing agents it and bury enemies under them. That's it! That's all I liked about this game! The gameplay is just like every other cover shooter released at the time. You can only have two guns on you at a time, your safe as long as you stay in cover (in fact being in cover in about 75% of the game) while your squad mates shout the same five repetitive voice lines and you pretty much do the same thing in every chapter with the only variety, if I can even call it that, being sometimes an armored enemy or pshyco with a knife will charge at you and they are piss easy to take out. Look I don't mind the cover system in games as long as it's not the basis for the whole game but when it is commence loud groaning and rolling of the eyes since I'm damned if I don't use it and board if I do. The only time I ever find the cover system tolerable is in stealth games where you have to be patience to slip past everything. Yes, this game does have stealth but that also leads into another issue, Spec Ops: The Line isn't a stealth game. So you can understand why I didn't even bother with sneaking though the game when 90% of the game is combat and the alarm would of sounded anyway! Thankfully the game is mercifully short only taking about five hours on my first playthrough but around half way though the game I kept asking myself "Is there anything interesting about this game? Is there anything unique or different? How many times have I gone though this same routine in other games? If there's nothing interesting past this point then why should I keep playing?"

Doesn't help that the game looks about as good as it plays two. I know there's not much you can do with Dubai since it is mostly hostile sand and pretty much Anakin Skywalker's worst nightmare but I just hope your favourite colours are sand yellow and grey. There are only two locations in this entire game that even look different from the rest of the game but they only come part way though the game and at the very end! Also I don't know what it is but the guns just sound really week! The most common praise I've seen given towards this game is the story. And to that I say "Yeah? What about the story?" No really, what's so special about this plot? For the first two and a half hours of this game it's just about three generic operatives going into Dubai to save some people and the plot only get's "Interesting" at around chapter seven where apparently they think showing you the burnt corpses of civilians and a dead child in her dead mothers arms is enough to make me care. It isn't. It really isn't because quite frankly I'm use to this kind of subject matter in video games and I see it every where. What's so different about this game that it deserves all the praise, even seven years after it's release? They even have the audasity near the end of the game to have someone over the radio tell you that the soldiers you are killing have wives or kids and I just wanted to tell the game to stop! Why do stories keeping thinking this will make us feel sympathy for the enemy? I don't care if you have a sick kid or a new born baby or a paraplegic wife because what else do you expect the moment you go to fight and potentially die in a warzone! And quite frankly this whole "War isn't fun and is quite unromantic" thing, Metal Gear Solid does it better and actually has interesting characters to boot! Even after I've learned about a certain plot twist relating to the main character who's so uninteresting I'm not even going to bother referencing him by name my opinion on him from the beginning of the game was still the same when I got to the end of the game. Your squad mates Adams and Lugo might as well just be rocks as well since no in this game seems to know what character growth is.

Look, I'm not going to say I regret playing this game because I don't! In fact I'm actually glad I did because at least now I can say that I have played it so that I can fairly judge it. But I'm sorry I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy this game. If this game was called "Cover Shooter: Dubai Edition" then nothing would of changed. And I get why people like this game, I really do and I am fully aware of the massive grave I am digging for myself by admitting how generic the game and how pretentious the story is because of how your not allowed to dislike this game apparently, but story lines with heavy themes of war and how bad it is shouldn't come at the cost of good gameplay or the enjoyment of the player. And to the people who are ready to dislike this review or comment something unpleasant or compare me to that scumbag DSP please I implore you play something that has both enjoyable gameplay and good story and then come back to Spec Ops: The Line and see if you still have the same opinion on it!

I'm just gona cut straight to the point and tell you I have a very love/hate relationship with Grand Theft Auto IV. I first got this game for my Playstation 3 when it first came out as a gift from some of my family who had been over seas and picked this game up for me as a present. And I loved it! I was litterally in love with this game! I was also 11 at the time so mabey I shouldn't of been playing this game but that didn't really stop me. And recently for the 10 year anniversary I decied to pick up this game while it was on sale at the start of the year and now that I'm much older and are able to look at games with a more analitical look and have played every other game in the series aside from the first two... I honestly wasn't that into it this time around. Their are things I still love about Grand Theft Auto IV. But their are also things I don't like and think have aged badlly when compared to Grand Theft Auto V or even Vice City or San Andreas.

Let's get the good stuff out of the way, the things I love about this game. The story is pretty good and Niko Bellic is a compelling charicter. Well, as complelling as revenge plots go at least. I mean I don't think people were expecting a sympathetic war vetren based of the charicter Sasha from Behind Enemy Lines to be the main charicter of a Grand Theft Auto game but Niko is interesting enough that I do care about him and the other charicters like his cousin Roman and the steroid junkie that makes me smile and laugh Brusie. Is Niko my favorite GTA Protaganist? Ehh, honestly it tend's to rotate between him and Tommy from Vice City. Both charicters stand out well I find but for diffrent reson's. Tommy works well because his temper and violent persionality work since GTA is a game where you can go on a rampage killing everything with reckless abandon. Niko works because of his more deeper backstory but can still be pissed off easy but does care for the people close to him unlike Tommy who doesnt really seem to care that much.
Of course the story in a Grand Theft Auto game is only as important as the gameplay and I'm happy to say most aspect's of the gameplay have held up. MOST of the gameplay. Combat is the main thing I think has aged well since they added a new cover system where you can just press a button and Niko will instantly go up to a wall and take cover and sometimes does this really cool looking slide that I never get tired of seeing. Once in cover.... Seriously, at this point do people really need to be told how cover shoting mechanics work? Then their are the physics. Okay granted I do have some issue's with the physics but I'll get into them latter because for the most part the physics can lead to some hillarious moments during gameplay like bailing out of a moving car at max speed or pushing random civlians of a leadge. And I love all the little things two like how you can go to a internet cafe and surf the in game web, watch TV at your safehouse, customize your phone once you get a new one half way though the game and how calling a certin number while in a car and listening to the radio they will text you the song name and the artist. I mean Rockstar Games had no reson to add all these little side activaties and details but they did and I love it! I honestly think I spent more time watching the in game TV and browsing the web more than causing havoc in the city. Seriously, Republican Space Rangers and Princess Robot Bubbulegum need to be actual show's, I would actually watch them if they exsisted or if Rockstar decided to make more episodes!

But this game isn't perfect, no game is. I know that's a contraveral statment especially since this game is treated like god's gift to earth but it's true. For all the stuff I love about this game their is a lot more I don't like. While I do like the story and charicters as mentioned before the game just takes itself way to seriously. "But Brusie is the kind of charicter you would find in a GTA game." Yeah, and he's in the game for about two hours excluding side activaties. Their is nothing wrong with a game taking a much more darker tone. Jak 2 and Zelda Majora's Mask are two of my favorite games of all time and they are much darker and mature than their previous games but they are not so dark that they lose their idenity. GTA IV tries way to hard to take it's self seriously that the story while engaging just doesn't have the same charm as something like San Andreas. But that's only a minor complaint. I love the gameplay when your on foot but not when your riding a vehicle. They tried to make this game more realistic but balancing realisum with fun is not an easy thing to pull of and the handiling of the vehicles is a prime exsample. The physics when your driving are a nightmare to get use to! It's hard to explain without fottage but driving in this game is so stiff that I offten found myself abusing taxis to get around because I hated driving so much. And you would think bikes would be better but no, they control just as badly as the cars. So police chases go from this exsiting high speed race down the highway to taking it slowly so you don't total your car or fly out the frount windsheild and kill yourself for the 80th time because of the poor handling. Yet for some reson people like that this game is more realisitc with it's physics and slam Grand Theft Auto V because it's not as relisitc! Why!? Also the phone camra is pointless because you can't even save your photos. Despite the TV and web surfing I mentioned before their isn't a lot of side activaties and some of the classic one's like the Paramedic are gone. In fact for activites like delivering drugs for Little Jacob or working for Romans Taxi service you can only do them nine times before you get a text telling you "Lol, if you wanted to do more this job for me two bad! But we can always go bowling for the 100th time!" Though granted this was fixed in The Lost and Damed and The Ballad of Gay Tony add on packs. Oh and don't think I've forgoten about the obnoxious friend dates. They will not stop calling you asking if you want to hang out with them and it's esspecially bad if your in the middle of causing chaos and the cops are right on you! Granted you can turn your phone on to sleep mode if you don't want to get bombarded with calls but doing that also halt's story progression so it's really a case of pick your posion. And finally, Librety City. I didn't miss this city at all. Okay Star Junction and Middle Park are great area's but the city is just so bland that I just get board driving though the same brown and grey areas all the time and while I do like the rest of the presentation, especially the music track list, the city just isn't that interesting. I will gladlly take Vice City and both versions of San Andreas over this! I will say that I do like that it looks closer to New York City witch Librety City is based on.

But that's my honest opinion on Grand Theft Auto IV. I'll give it credit when the game works it's a really enjoyable experience and all the things you can do, well all the things you can do before the game decides to not let you continue doing them anymore for no reson, are enjoyable. But at the same time their is just a lot that holds it back for me and after playing it again after so long I have less motivation to come back to it aside from the 200 flying rats. I like this game, I really do, despite my negative views on some things I do enjoy this game and I still recomend trying it out if you can get past all the negative stuff, especially since the PC version of this game uses Windows Live (I already brought the game on Steam with my acount, just let me use that!). Though if I'm going to spend hours in a GTA game it's always gona be either Vice City, San Andreas or V but I will admit this game is slightly better than III.

Classic DMC Fan: This is the worst Devil May Cry game ever created!!! They totally runied Dante's charicter and he doesnt even look or act like the classic Dante! I never want to see this game ever again!!!!

Me: Yes Dante sucks but what about the gameplay?

Fan: Who cares about that!? They runied Dante's Charicter! This game is atomaticlly bad because of it!

Me: Umm, I care! And I'm certin anyone else who plays video games also cares. Do you have fun with the game? Isn't beating up demons with an awsome selection of wepons including a scythe, A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SCYTHE IN A DEVIL MAY CRY GAME, fun? I mean Sparda in the original Devil May Cry did turn into one when you threw it but considering that sword is so usless most people just switch back to either Alister or Ifrit once they get you barley even use it.

Fan: Ninja Theory is run by Saten and Team Little Devil's are run by Jesues! Even Devil May Cry 2 was better then this!

Me: Okay now your just going way to fa... Wait. Did you just say Devil May Cry 2, one of the worst and most boring games in the series, is better than this?

Fan: Did you just talk ♥♥♥♥ about the OG Devil May Cry!? YOUR NOT A REAL FAN!!!! YOUR NOT A REAL FAN!!! YOUR NOT A....


Okay in all seriousness I have kept how I feel about this game and the fanbase deep inside me for years because when ever this game is mentioned the only thing I can remember is how toxic the fan base was back in 2013. This game was boycoted to hell because of how Dante, one of the best things about this series, was handled and almost all reviews by fans were 0's or 1's and if you even liked the game then you were just the prime target for getting ♥♥♥♥ thrown at you. To give you a comparasion of how bad things were it's bassicly like the modern Star Wars fanbase and how toxic they have been with The Last Jedi and even saying that they hope Rian Johnson get's fired or claim anyone who like's the movie is a Disney Shrill or an SJW. Honestley I expected Dante would be diffrent in this reboot. That doesnt mean I like him in this game! I hate how they made him a sterotypicalt edgy teenager with some of the worse lines I have ever listened to in a video game. I normally hate using the word Cringe because of how much I hate those terrible Cringe Comp video's but this game's Dante honestly made me cringe. I will say at least he has a persionality unlike Devil May Cry 2 Dante who had almost zero persionality. You can make changes to charicters in reboots and have them still work well. Lara Croft in the 2013 Tomb Raider was much younger and very week and fragile yet she was still a great charicter.
Oh and their is also this girl who uses Squille Jizz to create magic portals but she's not really that interesting. And Virgle. He's here two.

But at the end of the day do I have fun with this game? Yes I did! The gameplay is the best part of the game! Granted Ebony and Ivory are practilly useless but eveything else you get from the sword to the demonic and angelic wepons are very usefull. Oh and again A SCYTHE IS A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WEPON IN A DEVIL MAY CRY GAME!!!! Of course their are also those Gauntlets I like but.... A Scythe? Hell yes! Granted I'm a fan of their default desing witch is the main reson I got the wepon skin pack to make them look somewhat aplealing. And swaping between wepons is very fluid to. Just hold down one button to use you demon wepon and the other to use your angel wepon or nither to use just the sword. Plus platforming is finally good thanks to the graple hook to pull yourself towards legdes or pull them towards you. I have never liked platforming in the DMC games and while I would prefer if it was gone all together it at least doesnt make me want to pull my hair out like it use to! You can also use the Grapple Hook in combat in the same way you could use Nero's Devil Arm in DMC 4 to pull demons towards you though it has to be the demon hook unless you want to be pulled towards them with the angle hook. I do recomend turning the dificulty up to Nephilim though since this game is pretty easy. But hey at least it's not so easy to the point where it's boring and you can just stand idle and shoot everything to win like Devil May Cry 2. Did I mention that was the worst game yet?

I would not say this is the best looking game in the series, Devil May Cry 4 still has that honor, but their are some nice visuals and I like the desing of the demons. Just a quick nitpick though, as much as I hate this games Dante I find complaining about his hair to be a really silly thing! And Limbo looks way better than the locations in Do I Even Need To Say It's Name At This Point? I am a bit mixed on the soundtrack though. Some background songs I liked but others I found pretty bland witch is sad because Devil May Cry has always had an amazing soundtrack.

Look, you are free to say this is not your favorite Devil May Cry game, your free to have your own opinions and they are yours and this is not my favorite game in the series but for what it is it's a fun hack and slash game that is honest to god the most over hated game ever I find! And it honestly makes me sad that all we have gotten from this series since this games release is re-releses of Devil May Cry 4 just with a few new fetures and the HD Collection AGAIN only on next gen systems just this year and no news of any new games. Let's just hope E3 this year changes that.