Recent reviews by ErikForLong

Dota 2 is ♥♥♥♥ and I'll tell you why
1. The map is huge and it takes years to get anything done. Thats why games last a minimum of 40 minutes.

2. Awful character design. Seriously, it's all edgy monsters and demons, waifus, and wanna-be gods.

3. Losing gold on death. Where is the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ logic in this? Oh so you died and you're already really behind? Why don't I just take away whatever little gold you have left so you can't tp and miss even more gold and exp :3

4. Awful balance.

5. Russian, Mexican, and Brazillian infestation on the NA servers. I'm lucky if I queue up for English on NA east and west and can get 2 or 3 other people that I can communicate with.

6. 5-10 Minute queue times for the most popular mode. Dead as ♥♥♥♥.

7. Have to abuse bugs to jungle with rng neutrals l0l

8. No thought process involved in making a team comp. Stack cc or hilariously broken heroes (le 4s targetted stun faec ;<)

9. ♥♥♥♥ esports scene. None of the teams have any personality. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥ are more dull than even the koreans. The closest thing you have to an attractive dota progamer dates kelly milkies.

10. Most of the cosmetics look no different than the original model to maintain the nonexistant lore.

11. $35 for brighter fire animations ;<)

12. Patches create more bugs than they fix with the scrap content they release.

13. It's perfectly normal to be a support with 1 ward and a branch 30 minutes into a game. So well designed and balanced!

14. 3 year beta with no ladder or ranking system besides "normal, high, very high" pffhahahaha

15. Half the game is straight up RNG. Any doturd that tries to debate this is retarded.

16. Tower targetting is coded by a literal monkey.

17. The game is older than most people that play it.

18. Chat bans when there is a mute function.

19. No good streamers. 5,000 viewers max with no tourneys.

20. Delayed turn rate aka high ping simulator

Your game is dead on "release" dotards

Ok let me be honest with you. The first 5 to 10 hours you start playing this game, it will most likely be a really really boring experience. Why? Becasue most noobs dont know where to go once they spawn at the coast and they end up walking to the forest and will never find their way to loot and other players. After those 10 hours, most of you will know where to go and make use of online maps. Thats where the fun begins. You will be going to the big cities meeting other players to interact with (IMO interaction is the funnest part of this game). Also for all you guys complaining about the optimization of this game... CALM THE ♥♥♥♥ DOWN. The new .60 update is coming soon ( maybe in a couple of weeks) and the game will be playable on most medium-high end PCs. Once you are at the point where you have all your gear, its all your choice how you want to play the game. You can either be a bandit and kill everyone for their gear, or you can play the better way by not kosing everyone and maybe trying to talk to them. DO NOT KILL FRESH SPAWNS UNLESS THEY ARE A THREAT. There is absolutely no point in doing so because they have nothing but starting clothes.

Overall, I give this game a solid 7/10 (maybe with the new update... 8.5/10)

tHIS GAME IS A PIECE OF ♥♥♥♥ WITH A ♥♥♥♥ TON OF GAME BREAKING BUGS LIKE LOSING YOUR CHARACTER IF YOU FALL FROM TOOO HIGH

This game is all about team work.
If you dont have any friends to play with i do not recommend this game for you.
Basically, if youre not 4 plyers youre pretty much not going to beat the game.

Best. GAME. EVER!