"Is jacking off a sport?"

That is the question.

Let us look and see if it is.

What are the requirements for something to be considered a "sport"?

According to Google, the answer is:

-competition between two or more individuals or teams

-rules of play that allow a winner to be determined

-a primary goal of victory

-victory determined by the relative physical ability of the competitors, although strategy and chance may also play a role.

Now let us compare it to masturbation:

-Goal of victory

The goal is to ♥♥♥, and thus this is checked off.

-Victory determined by physical ability

This can also be checked off as whether you ♥♥♥ or not is determined by how well you can wank.

-Rules of play that allow a winner to be determined

This scan be checked off, as the way to "win" is to nut.

It appears that, by the logic so far, jacking off is indeed a sport. However, everything completely falls apart by the fourth requirement:

-Competition between two or more individuals

The thing is, jerking yourself is a solo act- and thus, cannot be a competition.

And so, unless it is duel masturbation, or soggy biscuit:

Jerking off cannot be identified as a "sport".

This concluded our research session.

Thank you for your time.