Recent reviews by uncle_J

Guns

Never was fan of turn based games. But this game changed my mind. Also has a good soundtrack.

A solid 11/10

But how many times do i need to kill ♥♥♥♥ Jezus.

Would you investigate helicopter crashes in a land full with human looking zombies, vampire creatures so beautifull I Would kiss them, ugly pig things and other dangerous creatures. Well Alexander Degtyarev will do it.

The game was really great. The only thing I found a bit dissapointing in my opinion is the main quest story and mainly the ending of it. But It might because I don't understand the stalker lore enough.

Doesn't stop me for giving it a 10/10.

A good soundtrack, fun levels, and a cute game in general... If you define cute as slaying grown ass Italians with an umbrella you stole while being a non-speaking psychopath who agreed with an other girl to put those Italians in jars to sell them for pocket money. Than yes it is cute.

Also I was seduced by a noose and i liked it.

I give it 11/10 would loose all my powerfull time changing stuff for my hyper drive to go home again.

Egg

-Made a wizard;
-Called him Osama Bin Wizarden;
-Tried to make the looks;
-I now know why he gets the females;
-And with females I mean goats;
-Focussed all points in fireball/explosion skills;
-Bought a house on the goat mountain, because goats and isolation;
-Made a clan called NotAlQaida, because it shows above my character (and to not gain suspicion);
-Took a lost lamb and walked around with it in one of the most crowded cities;
-Nobody seems to give a ♥♥♥♥ because AFK based gameplay;
-Found a non AFK who by no doubt noticed me;
-Looked at her and droped the lamb and ran away;
-Learned about camel mounts;
-I thought why not. It's better than an unoriginal donkey;
-Came to the place with camels (far away from where i was);
-Cannot get a camel;
-Needed to be in the level 50's;
-Became the level I need with ease (thanks to all exp buffs);
-Finally got the camel;
-Got back to the crowded city;
-Bought a rifle;
-Took an another lost lamb;
-Made a setup with all of it;
-Been observing the surroundings for 10 minutes for reaction;
-Conclusion everyone was AFK or talking about traps;
-Got bored;

-Made a new character;
-Wanted to be the same as a World of Warcraft hunter;
-Closest to that was tamer;
-Tamers are small like dwarfs;
-Made the smallest and thiccest tamer;
-Still too normal in my eyes;
-Changed her to a dark iron dwarf that's somehow possible (looked pretty good);
-Now i can play the dark iron race earlier than WoW players;
-Got myself a rifle again;
-Leveled to the level for the pet;
-Learned how to hunt to level my hunting skill;
-In the early game it means to do dailyquests to shoot at seagulls and eagles;
-That was easy;
-Got bored again;
-might be because it's more of a social game and I'm a anti social something (Wanted to curse but this is a christian review);

-Made an another character again, because Favourite part of the game;
-Made an archer;
-Again female because no male option;
-made a WoW theme character again;
-This time Sylvanas Windrunner;
-Again made it somehow possible in a not bad way (Looked really good);
-Only the clothes look not fitting and the eyebrows can't be long;
-Naming was a problem, because ALL names that contained Sylvanas were taken;
-Named her Waifanas (for the necrophilia people out there);
-Found a player as a male knight having one of those Sylvanas names. I wish I was lying;
-Also tried to make Patrick Stewart;
-There's no good bald option because the one that excist has hair like texture;

Bad recommendation because there's no good bald option for both man and female.
And too much AFK in my opinion.
And because traps aren't gay. Some parts make it better.
And because I hope to trigger the feedback bot.

*note: it's a joke review if you somehow didn't realize. please smash the happy face if you liked it.
*note: fixed nothing because I suck at languages in general.

If you don't have it buy it. If It's sale why haven't you bought it already.

Because there's nearly something for everyone in this game. you can explore, be creative, make intressting loadouts or do what i did grind for rare stuff. like that ONE DYE from strange plants. I mean I got many rare stuff but then you got that one rare dye you never get. And all just to make your character look amazing. Was worth it tho.

Anyway this game is worth a 11/10.

When you don't get better faction armor even if you did more than most guys in the faction.
And you don't want to kill the higher ups because it makes the faction mad and you want to be part of the faction.
But the savage guy that doesn't even care about the faction he's in and only joins because of the leader
gets neat armor and an insane helmet.

Well at least I got my face on golden coins. So that's fair i guess.

10/10 pls don't make enemies with miniguns shoot to the side where the minigun isn't facing

-Played till I had a ton of money and everyone had everything;
-Got bored;
-Decided to destroy all the healthcare I had;
-And do nothing;
-10 years later and everything is still the same beside the few dead;
-Made the president do non-stop speeches for 4 years;
-Some dedication right there;
-Huge group of people also were watching the speech for 4 years;
-Real dedication;
-Some people died during listening to the speeches;
-THAT is some real dedication;
-30 years later the economy is feeling it also more than 50% of the people i had died;
-Won elections by doing nothing (Peter Griffin was the opponent in all of them);
-10 years later many people died;
-Send out my secret police to kill everyone (because silent genocide and it was not fast enough);
-In the last years my secret police died of bad healthcare;
-and maybe I orded the secret police to kill one of their own;
-Many people were still target;
-Only had 25 people left;
-At the end the US invaded my country because of the debt;
-Only 20 people survived;

And why can a president with over 100 years of office still run around as fast as a cheeta? Dedication? Who knows?

-Made a weird green elephant;
-Turned it into a killing machine;
-Made a group of my species children;
-Tried to kill everything;
-Especially children;
-Its genocide for children by children;
-They died quick;
-Children of my species were hard to find on one point;
-Made a mixed group of children from few friends;
-Killed a lot but quickly died again;
-Tried to kill a gaint with children;
-Basically made the children sacrifice themselves to the gaint god;
-Later tried to kill it with stronger friends;
-They died;
-Later tried to do it all alone;
-Killed it;
-Nothing interesting happend in the other phases;
-Go to space;
-Began to realise i didn't saw any children;
-Probably are working in my factories;
-Wanted to kill everything;
-Early game was not the best start;
-Made friends;
-Bought my friends home planets;
-Bought a whole civilization to extinction;
-Became a master of economics;
-Invaded other home planets;
-Had too many spices;
-Didn't care anymore to collect;
-Go to the center of the universe;
-Got blocked by my nerfed travel distance;
-Got killed a few times by the big ass empire thanks to that;
-Couldn't find a place to go futher;
-Gave up;
-Scearch on the internet to find a way in;
-Found out that earth is in game;
-Got to earth;
-Nuked it with doomsday device;
-Got an achievement from that;
-Nn the way back home;
-Tried to get to the center again;
-Somehow managed it;
-Got to the center;
-Found out there is a free breakfast and presentation on earth;
-Well f**k that;
-Got back to home planet;
-Destroyed one of my planets because they had to much stuff going on;
-Began to invade my friends;
-Destroyed everyone till they had only 1 planet;
-Nuked them all to death;

10/10 most brutal game ever.