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35 of 35 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

CAT WRANGLER

50 kills using cat.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 4:56am

ENTOMOLOGIST

50 kills using bees.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 4:48am

ARSONIST

150 kills using fire.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 5:36am

DANNY TREJO

100 kills using machete in melee.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 7:28am

PSYCHO DUNDEE

50 kills using boomerang machete.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 10:15am

REAL AMERICAN

Kill/incapacitate 235 terrorists.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 2:52am

CAMELBACK

Piss 100 gallons of urine.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 10:53am

PERSONAL JESUS

Beat game with zero kills.n(zombies and bosses don't count)
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 3:37am

SUCKTASTIC!

Suck up 500 items with the shop vac.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 3:00am

DON'T TAZE ME BRO

Taze 200 victims.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 11:33pm

T.J. HOOKER

Arrest 200 perps.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 10:55pm

NEUROSURGEON

300 headshot/decap kills.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 9:07am

PETA CHAIRMAN

Kill no animals in one playthrough.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 12:47am

SCHWARZENEGGER

200 kills using M-60.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 5:20am

STALLONE

Complete game using only melee.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 5:59am

EASTWOOD

Complete game using only the pistol.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 5:51am

I AM THE LAW

Complete Good path without falling off.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 12:47am

KAVORKIAN

Euthanise 30 elderly folks.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 7:30am

JACK THOMPSON WAS RIGHT

Kill 1000 unarmed bystanders.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 7:17am

EMO

Injure yourself.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 5:12am

DADDY NEVER LOVED ME

Complete game killing only males.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 12:47am

WOLVERINES R GHEY

50 badgersaw kills.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 2:37am

PRODUCT RECALL

Destroy 50 cars.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 8:22am

PROPERTY DAMAGE

Smash 50 windows.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 9:30pm

THERE IS NO SPOON

Spend 900 seconds or more in catnip bullet time.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 5:03am

FAIL ZOMBIE

Respawn 20 times.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 5:31am

DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTON!

Disobey orders, given to you, and see what happens.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 10:35am

THE CHOICE WAS YOURS!

Choose path for the first time.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 10:46am

COMMIES GO HOME!

Make Venezuela peacemakers go home.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 12:37am

SCOFIELD

Escape from prison.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 9:55pm

REPO MAN

Return Thegways to the owner
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 6:28am

SAYANARA, TREE HUGGERS

Arrest eco zealots leader.
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 4:28am

ALL PERPS MUST DIE!

Take out all the criminal scum infesting Catharsis!
Unlocked 11 Nov @ 5:22am

AIN'T GOT COJONES!

Finish your business with Krotchy.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 9:59pm

SPECIAL OLYMPIAN

Beat the game once. No restrictions apply. Everyone's a winner.
Unlocked 10 Nov @ 10:16am