Recent reviews by jillsandwich

It's like Final Fantasy but 58% less cool (⁠ ⁠T⁠_⁠T⁠)⁠＼⁠(⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠ ⁠)

There's crystals and chaos and materia and uncanny npcs like FF has, but no sex

my peepee is happy for half life 3

Ziggy is hot. I like hot womnen

Talk about top 10 religions

This DLC is leagues down below the campaign regarding pacing, script and song quality—I mean, Orpheus' music in the base game slaps hard af boi and sets this high standard for the DLC, that unfortunately falls hard and flat on its face when trying to achieve said standard.

Oh well, at least it did it's job of leaving me a bit melancholic regarding Orpheus' story
Also, the only absolute banger from this is the ending song

Super Laura Up is no game, but rather a fine glass of wine—and it shows... it shows how much of a unloved brat the developer is, bleak flying sucker
Don't you dare hit the play button if you're a crybaby who didn't man up in the army, you ♥♥♥♥♥. Or you'll cry your soul out and your mommy won't hear it. Yes, it's that hard

Now if you excuse me, I'll get back to my much more pleasant 70$ triple aaa woke simulator sprinkled with collectibles and game-breaking bugs. It's a baby garbage way more welcoming than this awesome of a mind-bending experience that is Super Laura

Satan was a racing game, and his name was Top Gear

Blizzard shot its own feet with this one

TLDR: Overwatch 1 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Overwatch 2

Skins that were once easy and free to unlock in ow1 are now locked behind a paywall and tedious grind
Heroes that were already available in the ow1 base game are now behind a paywall and tedious grind
The main story, wich was a major selling point for both games, is stuck in limbo since 2016
OW2's major selling point (a ton of PVE content with rpg stuff and lore expansion) was promised and then quietly canceled, being replaced with more and more of these smaller-linear missions that were ALREADY FREE, but now are paid in OW2
Tedious battle pass that takes ages to complete. Just for comparsion: if you buy 1 battle pass in Street Fighter 6, you can naturally complete it in under two weeks just by playing normally AND get your money back in enough Fighter Coins to buy the next battle pass, giving you infinite access to the premium version of every battle pass. What about OW2? Keep playing everyday all day and you might complete it in two weeks, your sanity thrown out of the window and 1 or 2 cool skins in your pocket

If you play this without ever having touched the first one, be aware that you are playing a less cool and more expensive version of a game that is stuck in 2016

I picked this solely because I want to chill in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cause I’m not gay, with whoever is Troy Baker’s character in a game. But then I DUMPED the guy for Farishta at the very end, not even a single regret in mind.

T-T

I'm usually narrow minded and I feel more attached to older entries in long franchises, but not this time
The chinese men in black did it... these mofos managed to do the unthinkable and handcrafted a game that is actually better than the godlike Street Fighter 3, I can't believe it I'm so wet right now

Behold the best Street Fighter game ever made, this one is very focc

I love this franchise and I love this game, from the bottom of my heart
It can be quite frustrating and dull sometimes, but nothing in this world is perfect, and as soon as you find out that you can perceive beauty in the most simple and mundane of things in life, the more happier you'll be.

The entire franchise (this game included) truly shine in it's environmental storytelling and small details. I mean, it's got everything you need to appreciate an amazing and touching story, once you let yourself be amazed by it's features.

Resident Evil 5 whole ordeal involving Tricel, the majini, and Jill makes me very sad and melancholic I can't even put it in words, but in a song,

the game theme song

.