Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended

What the bones did you just skellington say about me, you little smoothskin? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the spooky skeletons trumpet school, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on halloween, and I have over 300 confirmed doots. I am trained in scary spooking and I’m the top trumpeter in the entire spooky graveyard. You are nothing to me but just another little baby to be spooked. I will wig you the heck out with spookiness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my spooky words. You think you can get away with saying that hogwash to me over the Internet? Think again, spooker.