When you wait forever for the cable guy, you get bored. When you get bored, you start staring out windows. When you start staring out windows, you see things you shouldn't see. When you see things you shouldn't see, you need to vanish. When you need to vanish, you fake your own death. When you fake your own death, you dye your own eyebrows. When you dye your own eyebrows, you attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley.

Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley.