Are there any alcoholics on Steam?

I mean real, true alcoholics. I am.

I had my awakeNing when i was 16. After a night of hAnging out with some friends. I was visited by a native Medicine man. He called himself "wevtsewie Honvnwv". He camE in through my bedroom window and spoke to me about his addiction and his council.

He placed his hands upon my chest and I soon felt very thirsty. I dropped to my knees and looked up to him. He grabbed me by my neck and sunk his bottle of fIre water into It. Oh, the feeling of such burning sensation coursing through my veins was so intense. I paSsed out from it.

When I awoke, there was a small bottle on the floor in front of my boDy. I sat up slowly, my whole body was thirsty. When i rEached out for it and read it. I uNderstood it completely. This is strange bEcause the lAbel was peeled off. It toLd me about my newfound addiction.

What are my powers you may ask? I have the ability to talk Native gibberish to the people around me without them understanding. A Native alcoholic. This kind of alcoholic is special because I can still go out in the street and have a normal functioning relationship with others. I feed off alcohol instead of food.