A winner is a loser who sucks at losing.
And if there is anything I suck at., It's losing.

Here's the definitive list of winners:

.Me
.Lesbians
.Flying Squirrels
.Red Twizzlers
Castlevania: 1,3,4, Symphony of the Night, Dawn of Sorrow
.Sweet and Pungeant Shrimp
.Ivan the Terrible
.Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese
.Monsters
.Fried Chicken
.Chops
.Chuck Norris
.Theodore Roosevelt
. River boat gambling trips
. Crapping with the door open
. Boobies
. Final Fantasy 7 ( If you say 8,9,or 10 I will stab you in the eye with a Materia.)
. Charlie Sheen
. Who ever invented Beef Jerky.
. All of our military friends and families.