Recent reviews by phosphoryloxy

squeez the juices onto my eyes and have them excavate indents and intentions of the constant ether CHU CHU CHU CHUNK BY CHUNK.
exculpation pleasing. finite blessings bellow up from underneath my toenails, like glowing letters. belly fat with joy but gurgling with regret. roll roll roll roll bump bump bump. forward. can you feel that tunnel? can you feel the surroundings bleed past you? like the pilot of some odd fleshromancer. lay your head down to sleep and have your future mapped acrossed your dreams and you just play it out, a flesh totem receiving signals from god.



Hello, world!
im now the father of a daughter
my father left before i was born
my mothers father died tragically
4/4
1 1 3 1
1 1 3 1
beat it out beat it out music flow blood flow breathe flow 🎵

critter skimpering kritter swimming. stuck to mommy. like a mermaid kicking. living. a siren crying on rocks made of placenta. calling. im tingling.
i love you sweetheart, i will always be there for you, if i fall into the earth my soul will rush up and coat you in a warm protection. i will always be there for you, i pray endlessly you make it i pray for your health.
I'll hold you tight when it's dark. darkness. surrounding.

he rolled around, smelled blood, was just a nose bleed. drank some water. a little boy. wrong, a little girl.
he tapped his index and middle finger rapidly against the girls forehead. the girl was confused, mouth oohing.
boom boom bap you test my patience boom bap boom boom bap🎵
the girl walks her first step, he closes his eyes.
the girl says her first word, he looks to the right.
the girl burps, he laughs.
the girl cries, he freezes.
the girl smells different.
the girl asks him "papa im scared" he says "you are strong"
he then tells the girl that those people are not safe.
the girl says "but they seem like fun! Let's invite them into our home"
he says "you trust no one but me"

in the blackening night, that desperate yearning song echoes around the two in an interminglin' loud with fear.
he HOLDS her SHE holds HIM
HE comforts HER she is COMFORTED by him

he says "sweetheart"
she says "papa"



BEATS of NIGHT CHILD SCARED OF THE DARK
constant battle constant living. constant fear creeping in constantly. i write in night




CONCRETE
shooooooooot it out shooooooooot it out
♥♥♥ a building and ♥♥♥ a street. HE built. HE mixed rock and mud. HE wanted to see god. HE erected. HE came. HE killed. and yet HE doesn't know how to share his heart?
SHE comes to question. SHE wants to know more. SHE kisses the cheek, the forehead, and the navel. SHE gives him life.

money ♥♥♥♥♥♥ me in the ear then i spit up his bloody stillborn sweetheart.

IT WAS MARKED UPON THE EARTH AS IF EXTENSIONS OF MY MIND AND MUSCLE. concrete filling. willing. im burning up from the suns heated beats, an aggressive song. the sun blows. the sun beats. boom bapp booom boom bap. the sun heats and boils. boom bap. it elevates elevates to heaven.

the trees hear you think, they hear you ♥♥♥♥ and they hear you sing.


Pleading
P[tenor.com]ulsing
Begging
GEOLOGY[i.imgur.com]
gi[i.imgur.com]rly[i.imgur.com]
p[i.imgur.com]apa
fishcakes[imgur.com]
still horny


CONFIDENCE[i.imgur.com]

grief

ptsd and tetris

im disfigured. my heart trembles. im curled up where my lovers were scorched alive.

i have no more energy left in me to satirically champion fictional fascism. its not even funny. nothing is funny anymore. we are today, where a melting pot of minds splatter and mend the fabrics of the human emotional net. im here im neurotic i see nothing or i see everything but no one will listen. you have to do so much to be heard, so much i cannot do. how can everyone shut their mind. or am i insane. how am i still lucid.
my heart is battling it's way upstream to poison my brain. hahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!

i would kill a man to see you again. i would kill a bug make it dead.
it all it all it all it all it all it all it all it all fade into you
fade into oyou it all it all it all ital l scorpions shuffling through the dirt far from home see a child to prick the ankles of. the parents put on their boots and go stomping through the woods. they come home and scream at each other.
the kid crying and confused rather then face the reality of agony creates their own world in which to inhabit. it isn't effective enough because their not imaginative. they become stuck in a half reality, bits seeping through and out enmeshing light and dark. the kid can even see the line.
his dad spins him in the night and his mother pulls him in the day. his dad thinks of men his mom thinks of him. its over its all over dazing phazing lasers spurring in his mind.

he reaches adulthood having muttered no real words to no man.
he wanders about the night whacking the concrete with his boots. he's looking for another job, his parents not left him a penny, you see, they looked at their child and saw themselves; they wanted him to wither while whimpering.
the kid, now man, cannot grasp a single reason to keep moving, he has prayed to his body to take over and let his instinctive urges drag him across this world. hoping the body itself would want to survive more than him.
he never thinks about what he does. its physical. maybe he works in a slaughter house. maybe he opens his mouth and a word comes gliding out to skim a woman's cheek like a feather. maybe he drinks maybe he jerks off.

one night after a work week which he rolled through like a wheel of meat, he goes to a bar. he glances to a man sipping beer adorned with a brown coarse jacket and denim jeans.
his body betrays him. it tells him, infact, threatens him to go over to the man and burden him with his weight.
legs alternate and realign among a linear axis. reverberating through the room are the impacts of his feet violently coercing with the ground. his mouth full of cotton, words scratching to get through like bats flailing at a stage curtain. he says simply "can i sit with you".

his mind flashes red and his gut churns. forced upon him by flowing ephemeral strings he thinks of home. He becomes homesick. the other man says "sure". That single utterance stabs through his head like a dagger. He feels as if he's internally bleeding all over, the pain indescribable. a flaccid fear cloaking him as if it was fog enveloping him on a dewy morning. every ligament lining his flesh automaton boils, he feels as if his body could explode creating strong enough shrapnel to mutilate every victim in the vicinity around him. tense. tense. tense.

the other man asks him his name. How horrible. why me . why me. why me. holding back his shakes holding in thepain holding down the glass an image of an owl appears in his mind it scares him. his organs are shivering his bones clatter and every vampire could smell his steaming blood. he glances around the room and sees hounds emerging from the wall piercing it like flesh tearing away at the world everything ripping and bulbing. behind the light film of reality is a flashing blackness and pink interchangeably. his brain literally rumbles as all before him is eaten he realizes the only way to bring it back is by vomiting his name out from the depths of his lethargic gut.

"Joseph" he replies with no visual representation of anguish.
the other man - "name's David nice to meet you" - replies with a cadence quite natural and warm.
Joseph's tense muscles waver an inkling at his words.
they sit in silence for what feels like an eternity. Joseph begins to admire David. It's only because his mind is racing so much he has to force himself to abscond.
David's hair long down to the shoulders, a nice blonde color, a bit curly. a defined face. hes fit. Joseph inspects deeper counting every pit and hair on his face.

David breaks the silence "well, you gotta job?"
Joseph looks down at the table and rubs a splinter with his callous finger. "over at Richmond's slaughterhouse"
"yeah i know how that is. i work for my dad, we got plenty of sheep, some cattle"

Joseph looks up at David and a tear drops from his eye. joseph begins to see light flicker out the back through a window. he imagines in his head an intergalactic star-craft full of soldiers equipped with laser guns. flying through orion's belt, stars willow and dissipate as-
"Are you okay?" interjects like a foreign object intruding into his head.
Joseph is struck dumb. he is staggered by the profound thick walls that lock him in despair.
he whispers simply... "no"
"what's on your mind?"
"i have this aching desire, my loins my gut my head all throb and snicker at me. they all snicker, my limbs fight me and whisper to me 'you are alone' f-♥♥♥♥ why am i even talking to you"- Joseph slams his fist on the table, gets up, and as he tries to rush out David tells him to wait and grabs him by the arm.
"don't look at me!" tumbles out joseph's mouth with a whimper, he covers his face with his hands and tears begin to well up. David looks shocked and wraps his arm around Joseph, then the other. he embraces him and Joseph sobs.

Welcome to my page!~~~
welcome to my kingdom!!!!!! welcome to..... fairyland! ^w^
where time is immeasurable! and you can eat as you desire and never grow fat. everyone loves you, no mocking no more hate. Run with the children through the forest! no shame or disdain! Spend all of your time appreciating the grass and the mushrooms without the risk of poison or blood! pain... sick... pain... no more pain! Your mother loves you again! the cows are not decapitated and they give you their milk willingly! they want to share their bodily fluids with you! and and the chickens encapsulate their shattered uterus for our consumption! they want it! All of your childhood dreams will *ENMESH* with this new land, creating a fantastical reflection of reality without harm!

but there is .. .sadly a trick to this :(
it will not be your body you inhabit.. and the time you spend here will go by a lot faster than that of your real body.
your real body may not appreciate gazing at the meadow's reflection. your real body may not appreciate the isolation. your
real body may not appreciate the loss of sleep. your real body may not appreciate being underfed. and at night your real body may have nightmares of blood and viscera.

So, It's your decision really!! whats better? feeling worse everyday from the miseries of the MODERN WORLD or... a perfect recitation of the flurries of nature!!! :3c Nya!!!!!!! never leave the city againnN~~~ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ur apartment ur city wonderful breeding ground for my magnificent fairies!!!!!! the fairies iwll never grow tired of pleasing you!!!! we are ephemeral!!! but real as ever!!!!!!!! we love you!!!!!!!! we can make u c*m too ^w^ hehehehe ...... I lov u... .

Look. Look around and strings!!! strings!!! Copulating, rending the mind and body! 🎭
Utter is the inspiration of interactions today.
🐍slivering, inkling and deep is the nature of it’s way.
Under a rock and under your nails 🤑
The wires and rivers make concrete trails!!!!!!!!
💎💵🤑[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] ₹₺₻₼₽₾₶₷₸₹₺₻itsoppressive₼￡₽₾₿꠸﷼🧧৲৳৻૱௹฿៛₠₡₢₣₤₥₦₧₨₩₪$💱

Listen. Listen to your children's tearsz.
humans r simple when they hurt they will spit out their feelings if you close the door to ur ears they will stop and itll boil over them. sometimes they will get stuck in loops of negativity theyll spin and thrash sometimes theyll get stuck in loops of negativity and theyll never cry and blow their head off sometimes they will get stuck in loops of negativity and ♥♥♥♥ your child sometimes theyll get stuck in loops of negativity and leave you sometimes theyll get stuck in loops of negativity they become blinded to reality and the sun and the sprouting flowers. they will only see themselves forever. you wouldnt want to be stuck in forever would you? then listen to the rain. listen to the birds. listen to the children, listen today listen now.

Feel. Feel what they feel or drown in a shallow pond of masks without empathy.
You cannot maintain peace by force. You can never go on compelling someone to maintain peace and order. Thus, the only way through which you can achieve peace and keep calm is by understanding.
i call for a blitzkrieg of radical acceptance, an air raid of paint with nuclear winds of compassion. blowing over space and time linking together all of us to ignite actualization of our full potential. an opportunity for us all to listen to our inner synapses and for tomorrow to be wholefully happy. not just some superficial utopia, but for an all encompassing tomorrow, ill be the best me you should too. (but murmurs of positivity are rarely heard, we are complacent with familiarity.) yesterday i was hit so tomorrow i will hit someone weaker than me - stagnation of the mind leading to emotional disease ////////////////////

Smell. Smell the fresh blood being let and grimace and guffaw.
shove spoonfuls of syrup down your throat until you bleed sugar. look into your ancestor's eyes and bite their filthy unkempt feeding hands. cease looking in the mirror and contemplating the dice rolls. unshackle yourself from your own narrowing thought patterns. put the rock down, don't kill your brother. use your fingers to play the piano and stop jerking off to japan.



i'd rather be with no home than to step upon the skull of my brother.
no man, no gun, will ever intrigue my deplore. I will flower, I will molt and I will love.
If faced with the wavering fist of incentives , bah! Let it crush my skull into the pavement.
Let my golden blood flow, its nectar staining the earth.
Let it emit an aroma so sweet to disarm conquerors.
Let my corpse fertilize the roses, let every particle of my being disintegrate violence.
Lead the lambs from slaughter, and the calves to the meadow. Then invite the children into your arms; embrace them to your bosom, and let not a single tear fall in vain.

i've felt a wolf in sheep's clothing, a sheep in wolf's clothing, a wolf and a sheep in sheep's clothing, everything wherever whenever i needed. have i ever had a true self? i feel as if im a gooey substance shape-shifting through life with no emotion within any action; me acting only on hedonistic human composites. it feels as if my whole life has stemmed from a single moment. i was an annoying brat with baby teeth, faced with a nonexistent choice. Shall I bring him the pleasure for a few minutes, or not.


Now exhaustion ensues, the very same feeling i got from that non-choice coercion as a child gleams in every facet of incentive in my adult life.
why should i go to work? because if i do not i will be ostracized with no home (become untouchable), and flaying the streets for a place to sleep. Why should I buy, what makeup to wear, creating profiles for dating, applying for jobs, and begging landlords that I am worthy of their precious time, spending hours looking at profiles for psychiatrists and therapists only to have them say their at capacity, influx of damaged goods. faces of colleges and instagram pages and tiktok autism pronouns in bio ukrainian war exterminate those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ russian scum! exterminate and purge evil thats it there you go kate you are seeing this desire that infects millions, othering forever. i thought we could learn from hitler i thought we could learn but no we will continue to erect effigies of infinite bias and hatred. we will continue to tag evil and whack it from the guff.
and i fffffface it all with no face I face it all without a face. fashioning masks has gotten so terribly draining. exhaustion, exhausting, stupid dribble - faced endlessly with "choices" "choices" and "freedom of expression" but it all leaves me feeling vapid and droll.

Maybe I am just afflicted, I have earned my adult teeth fair just as everyone else, I should bare them and snarl and bite.

i can imagine... that man, my hands, the trench gun in my grandmother's closet. Oh how great I would be! i would be saving this world from future harm and releasing myself from this ghastly haunting walking corpse I inhabit! in just the flexing of my index finger x+x. X_X. revenge revenge revenge . But then guess what happens? My true self will be shoved down deeper, and around my body a fleshy substance will amass hiding my face in boils. my body, my whole existence from then on will know only hatred and despair. ripping and tearing through life, with no helmet to hide my cold and callous ideals.

the reality is, not a single inkling of my soul truly visualizes any outward exertion of my pain.
i want to fall back with you in fields of r'a'pe, i want to live and i want to love.

control

kill.... kill.... kill..... forever destroying.

masturbate while staring at your computer screen
never think of love think of the ♥♥♥♥♥ and it's cream
next you c*m, now feel remorse.

once you're done open the game and destroy. you want to destroy, listen to music and destroy, watch porn on a second monitor while listening to music and killing (kill forever) (listen to a podcast) (watch a youtube video)

because if you cannot create -the only thing you can do is destroy.

create a monolith in the name of your love and wait for it to be crushed.
fill yourself with emptiness, grab a gun, then start the fun.



ive grown away from those desires, but a blemish on my stock.

instead, i want to touch, i want to create, go outside and feel the grass, talk, taste, listen to the wind rustle the leaves, all on their own. but most of all... i want to do... nothing.

good, god. i beg you all please listen to my penance, the crushing weight of repetition and hedonism will diffuse all of your inhibitions. it will grind your soul down to a smooth stone. and when you meet the daunting doors of death you will plead and plead, where did my life go?
you will look god in the face and say, i spent my time on this earth jacking off to belle delphine whilst thinking about killing. you will admit to him that when you weren't horny you were watching tiktok sensory videos, and you will have trouble justifying to him your time was not spent in vain, letting incubuses drain you in the night.

confront your childhood fears!
Dive into 4 years of your favorite night 🕯️Time slips by so quickly
Try to survive Try to survive Try to survive Try to survive Try to survive Try to survive


i fear
confront your childhood fears! confront your childhood fears! confront your childhood fears!
What do you think of? Me?: What do you think of? when you are working:

how do you function? You say and keep saying ttthis is justhow life is you hate your job THAT'S OK (money). What do you think of? What do you think of? Do you feel real? When you’re working does it mask your mind? You’re telling me when- when you played this game for the first time you didn’t think of Lolita? Dorothy didn't [pass your mind?(didnt make you feel alive?{pulse away at your insides?})] summon all of it to be revived??
you suggest not everyone walks around and around and around with a beating heart and a burning belly, corrosive loins and a cacophonic mind. But my mind echoes infinitely! sulking echoes of memories whispered (never shouting). It envelops my body in a frigid cold and morose cowl. there’s a thousand wars waging within my body a day and and im supposed to focus im supposed to focus. Im supposed 2222222 clean im supposed 22222222222 think and study im supposed to want. -i myself have nt wanted i n years i ju st thin k about y our de sires-
I am supposed to look at me and look at my future and say: This, this individual human has desires, they come from within.

I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR THOUGHTS, I WILL EXAMINE WITH CALCULATING INTENT, I WILL SUGGEST AND MOVE THIS HERE. I WILL LOOK YOU IN THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FACE AND SHAPESHIFT BEFORE YOUR EYES I WILL MORPH AND BEND. A HAZY BLUR OF MY PRESENCE. AND IF YOU LEAVE, I WILL FOLLOW, I WILL FOLLOW YOU LIKE A GHOST.


im a ghost
i stare at my hands for hours. i pushed away the bad thoughts while i stared into my heart for years, im lazy and messy, im not real. existence is a nightmare and every step i take im set aflame even more.
oh yeah everyone is sad, everyone has a break up or two. but why does this plague my mind {he loved me} he doesnt want to ♥♥♥♥ me he is afraid {he loved me} coaxing him i wont tell a soul {he doesn’t need me} i need him to function {he still thinks of me} i belong to him {he wants me} it would be suicide to tell anyone about our secret {i trust you} he seems to have forgotten me entirely {his facebook} i found myself cat-fishing him into meeting up with him (still twice my age) and he looks right through me HE LOOKS RIGHT THROUGH ME---}

with a face of cotton and eyes of kinder, grabbing... grabbing me, jumbling my insides and removing me from earth. [im on mars] i forgot i forgot and forget he forgets for you.


But, sometimes in the flashing glimpses of my perception, I notice my body moving forward, wrapped in eternal kindle.
The only thing she can feel anymore is the pain of the gargantuan roaring flame. she grits her teeth and swallows the pain.
It suffocates, it burns away all of her breath, melts away at her tender flesh and disintegrates all earthly desire.

my car wont start