The sun was broiling hot, red spots floated before his eyes, the air was quivering
on the floor of the quarry, and in the shimmer it seemed that the ball was dancing
in place like a buoy on the waves. He went past the bucket, superstitiously picking
up his feet higher and making sure not to step on the splotches. And then, sinking
into the rubble, he dragged himself across the quarry to the dancing, winking ball.
He was covered with sweat and panting from the heat, and at the same time, a chill
was running through him, he was shuddering, as if he had a bad hangover, and the
sweet chalk dust gritted between his teeth. He had stopped trying to think. He just
repeated his litany over and over: "I am an animal, you see that. I don’t have the
words, they didn’t teach me the words. I don’t know how to think, the bastards
didn’t let me learn how to think. But if you really are...all-powerful...all-knowing...
then you figure it out! Look into my heart. I know that everything you need is in
there. It has to be. I never sold my soul to anyone! It’s mine, it’s human! You take
from me what it is I want... it just can’t be that I would want something bad! Damn
it all, I can’t think of anything, except those words of his... ’HAPPINESS FOR
EVERYBODY, FREE, AND NO ONE WILL GO AWAY UNSATISFIED!’