Recent reviews by ThePapercutNinja

A fun little game to play if you have a lot of patience and don't get mad or have seizures easily.

This is without a doubt the greatest real-time strategy game I have ever played. It's challenging and spontaneous and if I win I feel a grand sense of accomplishment and pride, knowing that I did it myself without the game's help. When I lose I don't give up until it's truly over, even if I have to seek refuge in the forest on a far corner of the map with my few remaining villagers and one man-at-arms to defend them, slowly rebuilding my once-great civilization. This game is unbelievably well-balanced - each civilization in the game has its own ups and downs but ultimately it is the player that causes his/her own victory. You can build great fortifications of walls and towers around your city, creating an enormous and impenetrable stronghold. You can chop down an entire forest and manage fifty farms and ten mines, stimulating an economy that will allow you to recover rapidly from countless battles, which will in turn let you slowly weaken your opponents through unrelenting raids. You can act peaceful while amassing a secret army of knights, battering rams, archers, cavalry, and petards (self-destructing bomb guys), then blitzkrieg straight through the middle of somebody's village, destroying houses and mills not because you need to but because you want to, and then when all is said and done tear down every last castle and town center within their walls. You can take an island for yourself and create a perimeter of walls and guard towers along the shore, then defend it with a diverse navy of flamethrower boats and massive warships, occasionally sending a small force of twenty galleons to harass your enemies into submission. You can accumulate enough resources to construct and defend a structure of such greatness that your civilization will eventually be recognized as the ultimate empire, claiming victory by sheer impressiveness. You can have your city study smithing and academics so that despite having the smallest army you may still pose the greatest threat to your enemies. You can BUILD A GREAT WALL. You can practice devout faith in your God, so much so that the soldiers of your enemies will convert and join alongside you in your quest which is truly the most righteous. And if none of that appeals then you can always just say ♥♥♥♥ it and go out with a bang. The possibilities are limitless in this game.

Pros:
+you can do virtually whatever you want to succeed
+lots of civilizations to choose from with unique technology trees
+many difficulty levels for AI if you have no friends
+a bunch of story arcs if you want to do something more than just battle (why would you?)
+five ways to end a match that I can think of off the top of my head - there are probably more
+infinite ways to reach those five ways
+custom map maker
+you control everything
+you can commit genocide and not feel bad about it
+great tutorial that nobody ever plays
+funny accents in the storylines
+many different gamemodes and map styles
+wololo

Cons:
-in the Crusades storyline you have to play as the Saracens
-moving around the map is weird at first
-playing against people who are really aggresive in the first 10 minutes (my brother) is really annoying if it happens to you (every single time)

Neutral:
=old graphics may bother you if you're a baby who's never played games on a potato before

Disregard everybody saying this takes 2-4 hours to beat. I did it in less than an hour in my first playthrough, and slowly cut time from there. There are 20 trinkets to collect and if you do that it will take longer, but most of them aren't too out of the way. There are two trinkets that together will take twice as long as it did to beat the game. It's worth it though. You may rage some but the game flows smoothly and constantly, so you can die 15 times in the span of a minute and still feel like you're making progress. Going by the achievement statistics, less than 10% of players managed to beat this game, which is in part a testification to its difficulty but honestly I think it's mostly that this is not everyone's game. If you like platformers, it doesn't get much better than this, but if you prefer 3D games that focus more on storyline than gameplay (nothing wrong with that), then you could pick a better game to start playing 2D again. Note: there are at times a lot of moving colors onscreen, but it's generally monochromatic - if you have epilepsy and are the photosensitive type you should be careful with this purchase, but know that it's not that bad and probably won't do anything (it's nothing at all like Super Hexagon).

tl;dr If you're bad at 2D platformers and want to get better, buy this game but be ready to rage. If you like platformers, this game is amazing.

It hasn't even been out for two weeks yet, and this game feels both full and functional. I haven't run into a single bug yet, the controls are simple, and the fast-paced style of the game is both addicting and rewarding. Much better than the vast majority of pixellated indie titles out there, AND IT'S FREE!

This is the first time I've actually enjoyed a game enough to beat in in the first few days of playing it. And I have a lot of games.

Awesome game, horrible community. Not much else to say. The art is cool.

One of the more frightening games out there.

Played it a little and got bored. The retro graphics and generic characters only go so far...

EDIT: Played some more after having owned it for 2+ years. It's pretty interesting, actually. But you have to be either bored or in the peaceful explorative mood to play it. Exploring is fun but you honestly might as well go explore outdoors in real life if you are in the mood. This game subtly brings back fond memories of games I played when I was little.

I wasn't able to really get into it, but this game is pretty cool. Fun to have a balanced tower defense game that doubles as a first person shooter.

A lot of people are upset because this has been in alpha for 6 or 7 years or something crazy like that, but it's pretty great so far and they're making consistent progress. Arguably the best / most creative combat system I've seen in a game, even with its simplicity. There's also tons of fanmade content.