If anyone's reading this then you must know my death was not an accident. You see it all started as an innocent misunderstanding. I needed an extra life and I saw a means to achieve this. However the wrath that ensued was far from what I expected. The red mist descended and he started going mad calling me a rat and telling me how he wanted to murder me. Then came the plotting. One story of some essential oil injection later and he had a plan. The yacht was just a means to his inevitable ends though it still bewilders me as to the lengths he would go to achieve this. This may look like some innocent, essential oils themed freak yachting accident but trust me, it was planned from the start. And now he's got the taste for it, I highly doubt I will be the last...

It was a late saturday evening. I had been enjoying my favourite pastimes, wanking and conversing with ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, when I was told of this betrayal. "MY TESTES!" I yelled as I learned the unfortunate truth of the events which had unfolded while I presumed myself under the safety of my own mediocrity. At first I didn't believe it. Valve? The small indie company? They would never censor freedom of expression like this. Then it burst through me like a rage. I felt betrayed, used, cast aside like yesterday's jam. I couldn't let this stand! Could I? I plead to the gods to help me. "What will it take" I cried for I would give anything yet even Enceladus did not reply. This was when it hit me. What I had lost. For what hope was there in the world if not for my beautiful testicles. And then I realised I was going through the motions. The 5 stages became clear to me as clearly as I had gone through them. All that was left now was.. Acceptance. And it was at that point I realised that while this gross injustice had occured, I would not be left unchecked. The sound became louder and it grew and grew. The familiarity. I knew what this was. Eventually the room was filled with the sound. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Screamed Smallu as he learned of what had happened. For to Smallu this was even more personal. His once great incubators torn away from his isä with by the same cruel hand that had denied him of his rightful glory in Katowice. Smallu knew what he had to do and would act his vengeance on those who dishonoured his family. That small indie company. Valve, please fix.