Taming Linux's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 11:29am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 12:11pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 2:49pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 8:45am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:59pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:27pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 2:33pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 3:57pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 5:34pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 9:25am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2013 @ 12:55pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 8:13am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 6:34pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 6:55am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 2:22pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 6:44pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 6:05pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 9:15am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 5:36pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 3:31pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 10:35am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 3:12pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 6:40pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 12:33pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 11:57am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 11:47am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 4:10pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 12:43pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 7:12am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 9:22am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 4:48pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 3:29am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 11:27am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:24pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 2:49pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 5:28pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 11:29am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2013 @ 9:54am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 8:32am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 10:38am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 9:29am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:31pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 5:05am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 12:05pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 11:30am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 1:30pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 9:40am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Nov, 2023 @ 4:54am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 7:25am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 5:53pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 14 Nov, 2023 @ 8:01pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 4:07pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2013 @ 4:13pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 11:56am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 2:48am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2013 @ 12:39pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2017 @ 8:14am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 23 Feb, 2021 @ 8:21am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 24 Feb, 2021 @ 12:44am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 24 Feb, 2021 @ 9:54am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 24 Feb, 2021 @ 12:52pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 24 Feb, 2021 @ 2:38am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 23 Feb, 2021 @ 8:29am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 8:40am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

2 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

16 / 30