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THINGS NOT TO SAY TO TRANS PEOPLE

“Wait… aren’t you just gay?”

Gender identity is not the same as sexual orientation. For simplicity’s sake:

Gender identity = who you are,

Sexual orientation = to whom you are attracted.

Most often, when someone transitions, sexuality does not shift*. However, the label for the sexuality might change so that it reflects the person’s true gender identity. For example, I’ve always dated women. Before I transitioned, I called myself gay because I hadn’t realized I was transgender. Since coming out as a trans man, I call myself straight because I am not a woman attracted to women; I am a man attracted to women, and the word we use for that is straight.

*Sometimes sexuality does shift through transition, and often this is because people feel more comfortable expressing themselves and their true sexuality through finding authenticity in transition.