Recent reviews by starfarts

When the vast majority of positive reviews are one-product private profiles you know it's Chinese.

There is zero character customization. You roll for a random old dude, tied to random equipment. The only options are pre-defined classes and some sub-skills you can choose, that's it. This could very well have the best roguelike gameplay of all time, but if I have to play with such a generic geriatric I will never be immersed.

Paid mods won't be a thing, Todd. Stop trying, it won't ever work.

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By the way, I enjoyed the vanilla game quite a bit. I knew what it was going to be and it's exactly what I wanted. Can't wait to see where people take the CK.

You're paying $20 to make the game infinitely more irritating. I actually enjoy the legends system a bit since it's something else to do even though it doesn't hold a candle to CK2's bloodlines system, but on the other side I spent over half my time in seclusion from infinite plague spam. It's relentless and endless and even if you stack as many anti-plague buildings and modifiers it won't matter. Either seclude semi-permanently or lose your dynasty to the sniffles.

I always hated this mechanic in 2 because it's 100% a malus. It's not as if you can mutate and gain traits or any other interesting system: you just die. With this DLC I'd say survivability is a bit higher but plague occurrences are about ten times more frequent. I'm partial to the duchy of Vidin and that general area (middle of the map for the most fun!), so perhaps those who enjoy playing in the periphery it might be a bit better, but knowing Paradox I honestly wouldn't count on it. YMMV.

There's a workshop mod aptly titled "no more plagues," and if you got this as part of the bundle or just hate your money, it's absolutely essential. Otherwise, and I mean this with complete sincerity, ♥♥♥♥ Paradox and ♥♥♥♥ the suits who sell this ♥♥♥♥.

Combining a dungeon crawler with a roguelike seems like a slam dunk. I love both genres and have played quite a bit of them from every era, even back on 3.5" disks and my monochrome 386 laptop.

I hated Barony. It took me five hours to complete a single run and once I got the end screen I said out loud, "I'm never playing this again." There are no procedural elements, no meta progression systems, no quests, no quirky party members to collect, no real town hub to restock at, no guilds, just...thirty-five levels of obnoxious mazes.

"OH BUT WHAT ABOUT CO-OP! I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH DA BOIZ IN THIS ROUGE-LIKE GAME" -u

I don't care. You can polish turds, stare at paint, or recharge crystals with your friends and it would be fun. Absolutely anything can be fun with other people, and that element means nothing to my opinion of games. Do not be fooled by the very pretty screenshots or videos on youtube, this is a boring, tedious, and creatively bankrupt experience.


PS. It's "rogue." Rouge is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ color and has nothing to do with this. Learn how to spell morans.

Exactly what I expected it to be and an easy 10/10 just by the first mission (yeah yeah), but saying it has any kind of controller support is a lie. Having a generic layout through Steam that doesn't change any of the UI nor allow you to snap through options (instead mimicking mouse movement with the right stick) is not controller support, that's just a vanilla Steam feature.

There are tons of Japanese blobbers* on Steam with full controller support, so I'm going to just play those instead.

*♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fight me irl not online

Just here for the badge, but this is my GOTY......

....I don't play current games so it's the only one I could launch. Great fun, addicting, and I can't wait to see where it goes.

Game itself is really good, but you can't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ play it with mods now. After the clown show that was Origin, EA decided to replace that with an even more cancerous product called EA♥♥♥♥yourself or something.

The store blurbs should be replaced with: "Now you too can enjoy an endless loop between Steam and EAwehateyou crashing/opening each other while you scream at yourself! What's that, it randomly launched one time? Hahaha that was just us taunting you, because it will never do that again even if you uninstall/wipe/reinstall everything. Want mods? Please die. We hate you, the people who pay our salaries, and if you would all just conveniently cease to exist that would be great! We'd much rather tell everyone to open support tickets that no one replies to while ignoring the forums, reddit, Steam, and so on. That's too much work! Go ♥♥♥♥ yourself! We want to live in some of the world's most expensive cities then whine about the cost of being there. Ugh! Work? No thanks! Oh someone made a fix for Frosty? No way buster, ♥♥♥♥ that we will intentionally patch EAmorgueworker to ruin it. Hmm...seems people are finding workarounds. But no worries Mr. Goldsteinberg Chairman Sir, we've made all our required apps so complicated that no one fix will work! We'll just sit back and laugh as would-be players waste hours trying everything while a select few of our Small Hat Squad will constantly post about how this particular thing works for them!"

EA has consistently been literally the worst company to ever exist in gaming for thirty years, and they won't ever stop as long as third worlders spend their life savings on FIFA cards every year. As if buying and closing dozens of studios wasn't enough, now they're sabotaging their own products. It doesn't matter how good this game is if the company selling it prevents you from playing it.

I refunded this over a year ago but can still review it for whatever reason, so here is the most important information:

Game was released and within a couple days the devs went into total radio silence on all their accounts. No updates of any kind, or patches, or literally anything. They cut and ran virtually on day one, so ♥♥♥♥ these morons and don't waste your money. Also the game sucks despite a terrific vision and good foundation.

Worth $30? Lmao not even close. Worth $35 as part of the Chapter II bundle? Probably not even then. And as usual for Paradox DLCs, it's buggy as ♥♥♥♥. I've only played two-ish hours but I have yet to produce a male heir; my six daughters only had daughters who only had daughters. Additionally I've come across MANY blank events/popups; and while it might not be a bug, since I play on speed 4 or 5 normally I end up missing out on a ton of these new events because there's no option to "popup and pause" like in CK2.

Still, it's more content for a fantastic[ly overpriced] game and it definitely adds a ton more immersion and entertainment. Hunts in particular are extremely interesting, and in general I cannot wait to see what modders do with this mechanic. Of course it won't ever make me not mad about Courts and their King/Emperor restriction, but I like what I've played thus far and can recommend for rich Paradox enjoyers.

Oh also you can stick your thumb up someone's ass while wrestling.