Recent reviews by Spud

I'm not smart enough for this game. Saw there was an update with a bunch of new levels. Tried one of them. Cried. Godspeed, people who are smart enough. Godspeed.

Daniel Remar attempts to recreate the plot of Mars Needs Moms but knows nothing about the movie other than the title and is under the influence of heavy drugs.

16/16 frames per second.

I don't own the Ultra DLC so this is all based on the base game and BH Classic.

I don't know how I played this back in the day, as it's not that great of a game. Asteroids meets Audiosurf is fun, but the latter does a much better job of showing how your music actually affects the gameplay instead of "Well I guess this means time for a boss just as the music slows down so I can't shoot jack crap?" The visuals are incredibly noisy and, while stunning for a while, get tiring as you die again and again because it's literally impossible to even see your position on the screen. Sure you can turn down the visual intensity, but you also take a sizable point detraction for doing so.

The ship you use controls nicely but is preposterously slow, and I often found myself dying due to that as well, as opposed to Beat Hazard Classic where the ship is much faster but somewhat slidey. You'll often find yourself haphazardly sprinting about when you get to a slower part of a song and your screen becomes approximately eighty percent space junk and asteroids (which are extremely annoying and often not worth shooting due to the chaos it causes), and a faster ship without the slipperiness of the original would have been perfect.

Negative ten points for immediately giving me an ad about cosmetic ships for badge crafting rewards on startup, but plus seven for letting me get rid of it just as fast.

Speaking of which this game is refusing to give me trading cards despite owning it for years, although that's neither here nor there.