Recent reviews by Settyness

You play as Clod, an intrepid hairstylist and transsexual activist, who engages in your typical SJW scare campaigns with his trusty band of internet activists, AVALANCHE. These commies kill tons of innocent, working class citizens of Midgar, all in the name of social justice and some hippy ♥♥♥♥ about the planet.

In your travels, you become Captain Save-a-Ho for a brunette table dancer; role play a smokin'-hot ladyboy for a rich, greasy Italian dude; and Steal from, Manipulate, and D. Blow thousands of innocent bystanders just because Mr. T had a hunch. I have to admit, the characters in this game are horrible ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ people. Their transformation into worse and worse human beings, over the course of this story, will touch you the same way I touch myself to rule 34 JENOVA.

Speaking of JENOVA, she's the only redeemable character in the entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game, and manifests as a hot monster girl with a body like wow. Understandably, she becomes entirely too fed up with the human race and decides to end it once and for all. She manipulates Clod and friends to unseal a hidden magic, known as Black Metal, and subsequently goads them into bringing said hidden magic straight to her, utilizing her boytoy Sephiroth as bait (women, am I right folks?). Clod, realizing how badly he done goofed, selfishly takes a spiritual vacation, while pretending to be handicapped, to earn the aforementioned table dancer's affection.

In this cruel and twisted turn of events, can the party stop the approach of Meteor so that they may continue their selfish political campaign against Shin-Ra and the GOP?

This, the first and (as far as I'm concerned) last installment in the Final Fantasy series will provoke a lot of emotions; it will make you lose faith in humanity, and you will fall in love with a planetary parasite-alien (all of which I'm already very fond of and familiar with). It will make you question your morals, your values, and most importantly, your place in this world -- plot holes, as big as the holes in my heart, will plague the internet for decades to come...

All in all, Final Fantasy VII is the experience ever. The only thing I have against this game is the lack of choice in joining JENOVA to sterilize the planet.

Don't try to master Underwater Materia, it's a waste of time.

Spoiler alert btw.

EDIT: See my comment on this screenshot for a description on why Enemy Skill is one of the best single Materia to master.