Последние обзоры SchmipperkeJones

Like Quake coated in Cosmoline, HROT is way smoother and sleeker than it looks.

Brown has layers, and they're all delicious.

Player movement: responsive, speedy, no crouching because a real Comrade fights on their feet!

Weapons: Typical FPS assortment with Czechnological flair, they feel pretty good to use, especially the shotgun.

Enemies: Despite everything being seemingly a handful of Soviet Browns, enemy types are easily distinguished and understood, making even large combat encounters feel entirely doable.

Maps: Blocky corridors, blocky outdoor areas, but never boring. They gracefully dance that line of lo-fidelity environments based on real places. Cool little memorials and secrets and neat widgets are most everywhere and ass just enough depth to keep the world engaging without cluttering it.

Overall: Game, like rifle, is Fine.

You will TRANSPORT BAGS FOREVER
And everyone will judge you, if you don't have the Transporter skill.

A 4-player coop game, Payday 2 is fun as hell even if the RNG on getting masks, weapon attachments, or other goodies is sometimes a big fat ♥♥♥♥♥.

Enter a world where the D.C. Metro PD has coopted COBRA's trooper-cloning technology for use against the deadliest bankrobbers in human history.

Steal millions, kill millions. Wear the ugliest mask you can produce. Use the worst gun. Ride a zipline to nowhere. Take a dump in the escape van after blowing the meth lab. All these and more are things you can probably do.

11/10, would beat people down with shovels forever.

Dead Rising. Literally the first game I played when I bought an xbox 360, and the reason I bought an HDTV as early as I did (owing to unreadable text on SD displays). I never actually played 2, or the various offshoots thereof.

Now there's 3. It contains all the surreal fun of the other games, with a huge map and excellent detail. The PC port is even quite decent. The game has all the standard graphical features (even window mode, via the ALT+ENTER shortcut), and handles mouse/KB control just fine despite still being somewhat more comfortable to play with a controller.

Gameplay-wise, it's both familiar to fans, and yet full of a degree of depth. However for the love of dogs GET A COOP PAL. Not only is coop fun, but it's still a massive pain to take on highly-mobile human enemies so it helps to have someone around to assist.

I'm not even gonna use my usual silly format for this, and tell you straight: This is a cool ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game. It looks like old potatoes, but it's a very slick top-down shooter with heavy roguelike sensibilities. You'll die. Quite a lot. But you'll also find enough weird cool ♥♥♥♥ around that you won't end up minding so much.

Protip: Try to combine ANYTHING YOU FIND. You can make some cool ♥♥♥♥ that will help you live longer.

You will ACCIDENTALLY JACK A LIVE ROUND OUT OF THE CHAMBER FOREVER, and you'll only have yourself to judge for it, since all the enemies are unmanned weaponry.

In all seriousness, though, this is an interesting little game. You have no real character, as such, but you have a fully-realistically-featured handgun at your disposal.

Learning this weapon and keeping it fed is all the character development you really need, given the addition of maybe a dozen extra control-buttons devoted purely to manipulating the firearm.

The game is sort of a roguelike, meaning a randomized map, incredibly easy deaths, and you spawn in with one of three guns in varying condition with a small but randomized inventory.

Your first goal in each new life is to check your weapon and ensure it is loaded and ready to fire. Otherwise, you may be faced with a turret or stun-drone and find your gun is jacked. Or, even more simply, that you never took the safety off.

(Protip: with magazine-fed pistols, holster your weapon and press Z to load loose ammo into the mag, or R to pull it back out. Also totally use the help thing, it's great for getting used to the controls.)

You will DISMEMBER EVERYONE FOREVER. And a chronic-pissing Cockney imp will judge you for it.

Seriously, though, this is a fantastic game.

Graphics are similar to Borderlands in that they more closely resemble detailed comicbook art than anything, but they are surprisingly detailed.

The story is actually quite good, with memorable characters and excellent voice-work, and even some surprises.

Actual gameplay? Mildly repetitive, but hardly in a bad way. You will kill many guys by gun or thrown object or by rapacious eel-face demon arm, but you will do all of these smoothly and easily, as the controls are worked for the PC with some clear thought behind them.

♥♥♥♥'s sake, even the *demo* is well put-together!

But if you can, wait for a sale for maximum profit. :D

You will HELP EVERYONE FOREVER. And the Patriarch will judge you for it. Fortunately, you have pipe bombs.

You will TAKEDOWN EVERYONE FOREVER. And I will judge you for it. Based mostly on style, expedience, and brutal pain.

You will STEAL EVERYTHING FOREVER. And everyone will judge you for it. ;_;