[~ Steve Winwood:
Gimme Some Lovin']


[engine revving]


Wha... Ho!


[yelling] Whoa!


Oh! Man, oh, man!


I almost lost it back there.


I didn't know what was going on.


Oh!


[groaning] Oh...


Mmm.


- Oh, hey, babe? Doug?
- Huh?


Can you take Billy to school?
My day kinda got away from me.


Yeah, yeah. Unless there's
an emergency at the office.


Oh, was there an emergency?


You know, dentists
do have emergencies.


- Oh.
- Sometimes.


- Ah.
- We are doctors.


Hey, no, no! Not until your LDL
is under a hundred.


Well, Mr. Putnam,
any plans this summer?


- [garbled mumbling]
- What's... What'd he say?


He said we're taking
an African safari.


Africa. I don't think I've been
out of Cincinnati in 1 2 years.


You owe it to yourself
to get out and enjoy life.


You can't just live to work!
You need excitement!


- [yells]
- [yelps]


Come on. Don't be a baby,


it's a d... Oh, the suction,
the extractor. Hold on.


That'll suck the spots
off a Dalmatian.


Help me, help me,
all right.


Know what they call this?
One powerful little sucker.


That's the brand name.
It's unbelievable.


See? I have plenty of excitement
in my life, Mrs. Putnam.


- [beeps]
- [woman] Bobby?


Karen, I asked
for no disturbances.


I need to talk to you, Bobby.


Technically,
I'm at the office right now.


And technically, you're
in our guest bedroom.


Look, I know baby. I... I just
gotta finish this chapter.


I know. But you know what?


I have to go to a job
that actually makes us money.


And I'm late, so walk me to the door.


Come on, Bobby.
I gotta get to work. OK?


Oh, Wait. I forgot my cell phone.


- Stay.
- Hey, Daddy! Listen!


- [high-pitch scream]
- Whoa.


Hey, no. Inside voice.


- Inside voice.
- Would you shut up!


God, it's like living
with a car alarm that ♥♥♥♥♥.


Whoa. What are you doing
trying to leave the house wearing that?


- You look like a Eskimo hooker.
- Dad, that's the point.


- You wanna look like a hooker?
- Dad, you are so lame.


It's hard for kids to respect a man
that don't do none of the providing.


In my day the lady stayed home.
Not the lazy man.


In your day the men
had pyramids to build.


How old is that?


I'm in complete
control of my finan...


- [screams]
- No.


Hush. Come.


How come she gets quiet
when you say something to her?


Because you, my darling,
have no control.


Baby, I know your how-to book
is gonna be a huge success someday.


But do you remember
what day today is?


No.


We had agreed that
you would take a year off


to pursue this little fantasy
of yours, but that year is up.


Now you and I had a deal.


Come on, baby.
Stressful cases.


Clients under duress.


I'm tired of dealing
with ♥♥♥♥ all the time.


Besides, how do we even know
they'll take me back?


- Because I called.
- You're serious?


The Firm is ecstatic
to have you back, Bobby.


You got a nine o'clock
appointment.


- You call The Firm?
- Yeah, men's room.


Some truck's driver must've crap
an entire cow in there, man.


Good luck.


I didn't want to
give him the key,


but I didn't trust my instincts.


[sighing]


I saw my father shot.
I never cry until today.


I got robbed yesterday,
and I know now,


your job is the bad one.


Yeah.


[sighs]


- [computer] Dudley?
- Yes, good morning, Mac.


How's it going?


[Mac] It is now
nine o'clock AM.


Thanks, Mac.
Open Internet, please.


- Command unknown.
- Open Internet.


Internet open.


I think I have to research
alternative specs.


- Searching alternative sex.
- What? No. I didn't say that.


[woman] Granny Love dot org.


- Want granny to take her teeth out?
- Shut down.


- [man] Barnyard love.
- [animals neighing]


- I'm sorry.
- [man] Enjoy the animals.


[woman] Granny's gonna
spank your bottom.


[man] All kinds of fun.


- [roosters crowing]
- I can fix that.


[computer shorting, whirring]


- Or not.
- [cat meows]


Well, iCat.


- Looks like it's you and me.
- [hisses]


OK, Larry, so what are
you trying to tell me?


- You're broke.
- Well, how does that work?


You've spent everything
you had, then spent some more.


This is right here.
Nothing. Zero.


You know what?


Maybe it's time for my wife,
the "supermodel,"


to start paying for some things
for once in her life.


You're getting divorced.


- Why would she pay?
- [chuckles] Divorced, going broke...


You think I'm falling apart,
don't you?


Not going broke.
You are broke.


- OK.
- The door's behind you.


No, no, you listen to me, Toby.
You're not gonna push me around.


We agreed on a price, and
that's the price I'm gonna pay.


You got it? And if you don't like it,
just walk away.


I'll tell you this, you can
kiss your business goodbye.


If you screw with Woody Stevens,
you go down hard. You got that?


What?
No, money is not a problem.


Don't insult me.
Don't insult me!


Money's never a problem!


You just have to honor
the correct price, you got that?


- What?
- [caller hangs up]


Well, then go home, Toby!
You make me sick!


I can't do this many leaves
for ten bucks.


It'll take hours!


You should've thought of that
before you put that flyer


on the telephone pole saying,
"Any yard for ten bucks."


Toby. Come on, let's talk.


Let's talk like men, OK?


[sighs] What's the problem?


- Money's the problem!
- Grow up, Toby!


- I hate you.
- I hate you!


Moron!


- [Doug] Kel, it's me.
- [Kelly] I'll be right down.


Hey, Bill.


You wanna shoot some hoops or
something before I take my ride?


- No, thanks.
- [footsteps approaching]


- Uh...
- Hey, babe. How was work?


- Mmm.
- Great.


- [phone ringing]
- [Kelly] Good.


Hello? Cool. I'll ask right now.


- Can I play ball with Stew and his dad?
- Of course you can.


[Billy] Cool. Thanks.


Here, dude, I'll be right over,
OK? All right, bye.


I just asked you if you wanted
to play ball. You said no.


Well, yeah. I mean,
Stew's dad is awesome.


He can totally dunk.


The hoop's what?
Eight feet above the ground?


- Anybody could dunk that.
- Well. See you guys later.


Doug, I am so sorry.
You know, I had no idea.


It wasn't your fault.
You didn't know.


What do I gotta do
to relate to my son?


[~ Foghat: Slow Ride]


- Hey, guys?
- [engine revving]


Does this sound better?


Whoa!


I'm OK! I hit my butt.


[~ George Thorogood:
Who Do You Love]


[indistinct chatter]


Thanks, Woody.


I feel really safe with you.


I noticed. If you ever
lay your head on my back again


when you're riding ♥♥♥♥♥,
I'll throw you in the traffic.


I... I was just trying
to keep the wind off my face.


- I felt you smell my neck.
- Guys, could we?


Did you smell
that man's neck?


His cologne is fantastic.


It's musky with an oaky finish.


Like a lawyer cowboy.


Lawyer cowboy?


Wild Hogs aren't welcome here.


- Hey, Paul.
- How you doing?


- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Paul.


Hey, Woody.


Just waiting on those K-ones
to do your tax returns.


We also need to talk about that
offshore incorporating thing.


Yeah, well,
I'll give you a