Name: El Retardo
Age: 8
Country: Zimbabwe
Sex: Two-spirit
Height: Half meter
Weight: 60 kg
Team: Virgin Club
PC: Xerox 8010 Star Information System
Mouse: Telefunken Rollkugel RKS 100-86
Keyboard: Old antique vintage portable typewriter

My story: My mom loves me and I love my mom. Recently, she told me the truth, cause she can't hide it anymore. When she was nine months pregnant with me, she wanted to abort me. Medical facility was near to our house, so she could easily come there on foot. When she was on the way she faltered, and fell on her belly, and thought "Why should I pay money for the abortion if this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 100 percent is dead by now" then she stood up and came back home.
But I was born 2 weeks after... And she was like "WTF?? So ♥♥♥♥♥♥ strong little ♥♥♥♥" but when she saw my face, she laughed about 5 minutes, and then she called obstetrician and whole clinic staff, and they all started laugh together. And then she said, that she wanted to name me "Jeff", but she changed her mind and she's gonna call me "El Retardo", and they all have started to laugh the way they never did before. So here I am - playing Counter-Strike Global Offensive - tryna find some friends, cause Ive never had one.