Keep in mind that I won't provide the sources to these quotes should any of them be particularly embarrassing.
All you need to know is that someone said them and you have no context as to why.

"The futuristic lollipop of Communism! "

"I don't care if it's sexual harassment, PUNCH 'EM IN THE BOOB."

"...'Greek Life Retreat Cancelled after Banana Peel found in Tree'."
- "THEY'LL SLIP AND SLIDE ON THIS--"

"green wizzy wazzy"

"This ant willingly mutilated herself for some pasta. What a champ."

"Like, my eyes are ejaculating fing mayonnaise."

"On a scale of brick to air, how subtle am I?"
- "The Great Pyramid of Giza.

"Boobs!"
- "Breats."
- - "Badoinkadoinks!"
- - - "Bazoozoos!!"
- - - - "Bazoombas!"
- - - - - "casual bongos"

"♥♥♥ ♥♥♥."
-"♥♥♥ ♥♥♥!"

"Who woulda thought? Add more nut to your nut and you have a nuttier nut."
- "... You nut what you eat?"

"Are you sure this is safe?"

"gay"
:okhand:
"Aw hell yeah, I can do anything."
" I AM GOD. "

"FING GIANT SS CRAB DEMON AND HIS BIG BUG F BRIGADE."

"I can't draw females in my comics-- too curvaceous."

"NEW SUPER MARIO BROS. - We've Made a Mistake"

"It has jaggies."
- "that's because it's a sketch I need help making an actual outline out of it you burger"

*Playing Fistful of Frags*
- "God I missed the r there for a moment and about had a panic attack"