It has taken some time for me to fully formulate my opinion on this incredible game into words. Years, in fact, have my soldiers crusaded into India, bypassing the Middle East and holy land entirely, my disease-riddled children learned to fight with swords before learning how to read, and my doctors castrated me against my will in a successful attempt to cure cancer.
The wild ride known only as Crusader Kings 2 is not a game, but a spectacle to behold to the common man where every single person has their own agenda, and that agenda usually involves sexual relations with your wife. So what groundbreaking changing features never before seen does the game have?

• Incest
  
• Torture
  
• Genocide
  
• Cuckoldry
  
• Manure-driven assassinations
  
• Pope seduction
  
• Lack of racism
  
• Chess games with death that always go very well. (lmao xd)

This game made me question my sanity. While fervently recommending it to every single person I know, I was laughed at, scorned for daring to suggest a game that isn't Dota. When friends did play with me, I was assassinated by assassins, mobs, manure explosions; cuckolded without a single giggle, asked how to levy armies for the 50th time, and had player-led independence factions led by them tear my realm asunder. Friends is a strong word, as in the medieval world, the only friend you have is whatever god you choose to worship. Your spouse and children may as well be enemy soldiers, having the hostility of a one-eyed feral cat and the life expectancy of a lemming parkouring a volcano.

Don't let that stop you from enjoying the key features of the game, such as starting construction of a massive statue. Of yourself. Then getting killed immediately after decreeing its construction, but still continuing to build a monument to a deceased 8 year old for the next 50 years. How about an Aztec invasion that makes western countries completely unplayable? Or the Black Death in the 10th century, only surviving because your 3 homosexual wives took the brunt of the plague for you? Or playing as a 0 year old baby, your predecessor's best friend and lover starting a faction to oust you from power? The choice is not yours.

Creating a powerful kingdom is easy, but maintaining it for generations to come is always the challenge. Balancing prickly vassals, international disputes, piety, and autistic wonder construction are all constantly on your mind, but that doesn't stop a portal to hell from suddenly appearing outside your gates, or your peasants from hanging Jews whenever they get STDs (likely from sleeping with your wife). Mongols exist, and god ♥♥♥♥ dammit, can they nerf the Khazars? Really nice when they conquer all of Russia at the start of every game lmao.

But works cannot do the game justice, God's gift to man in the simple yet incredible, splendid, ascended game, can only be played to be experienced. Random events and unbalanced nonsense will only make every day that passes that more intense, and there's no excuse not to play it. Everyone can experience the game right now. Even if it is free, (and all of the DLC can be played for free if you just let me host, for god's sake guys, seriously.... ) that won't stop everyone from refusing to play it. CK2 is still one of the best games currently on the steam store and earns my highest recommendation. Please play Crusader Kings 2 with me guys. I will continue to mention it until CK3 comes out, and you cannot stop me.