Why so Serious??????????

Nobody Exists On Purpose. Nobody Belongs Anywhere. We’re All Going To Die.

Listen, I’m Not The Nicest Guy In The Universe, Because I’m The Smartest, And Being Nice Is Something Stupid People Do To Hedge Their Bets.

Think For Yourselves. Don’t Be Sheep.

My Life Has Been A Lie… God Is Dead. The Government’s Lame! Thanksgiving Is About Killing Indians!

Weddings Are Basically Funerals With Cake.

I Hate To Break It To You But What People Call ‘Love’ Is Just A Chemical Reaction That Compels Animals To Breed. It Hits Hard, Morty, Then It Slowly Fades, Leaving You Stranded In A Failing Marriage. I Did It. Your Parents Are Gonna Do It. Break The Cycle, Morty. Rise Above. Focus On Science.

You’re A Monster. You’re Like Hitler But Even Hitler Cared About Germany Or Something!

The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them.

To live is to risk it all; otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you...

I realize now I’m attracted to you for the same reason I can’t be with you; you can’t change. And I have no problem with that but it clearly means I have a problem with myself.