I start every single morning with a breakfast of iron. I eat nails and ♥♥♥♥ razors. Then I go to my computer and delete every single piece of fanmail I have recieved within the night without even bothering to read them. The amount of daily fanmail is measured in googolplexes. That is because I am a high-profile star and people would kill to be allowed the grace of touching my shoes. About 90% of the world population have my name tattooed somewhere on their skin.

I currently work as the general manager of a multi-national investment firm that deals mainly with funding research for neutron and fusion bombs et cetera. I have my own private jet and I use 100 euro bills as my toilet paper. Once I smoked a blunt wrapped in the original copy of Shakespeare's MacBeth.

In my spare time I am the justice given form. I put on a skin-tight moth costume and become Mothman, the dark crusader. I don't have many superpowers, but I have the Mothmobile - modified Talbot Horizon from the year 1984, a classic. My archnemesis is called "The Poker" and his evil plots mostly center around cheating in online card games.

I have many talents. I possess a superior analytic intelligence and my knowledge about everything and all is beyond anything ever known to mankind before me. Compared to me, Machiavelli was a minor player, merely a pawn. He was dynamite but I am a tactical nuke. In fact I know the meaning of life.

I can also write great poetry. Wanna see?

"Peach, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rule,
Peach, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rock.
Peach get down on me
'n polish my knob."

I have to be completely honest with you; I have enormous balls. You have possibly seen horses pack quite a bit in the genital section, so you might have some kind of a picture in your mind about my seed-sags. My balls have their own gravitational field. 9/11 wasn't actually a terrorist attack; It was me teabagging the WTC towers.

My father is Thor, the God of Thunder, and my mother is the Hive Queen from Aliens. That mentioned you might already know why I don't dig ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ applications.

Because you want to know more about me you can read my biography. It's called "Beowulf".