"Why do we exist?"

"The universe has hired you to figure out. It's a temporary position, but it's the only one available to you. As tools for the job, you've been given self-awareness, and a meagre amount of scientific knowledge. You should be grateful because everything but you is inert, and it's actually quite a kooshy job, all things considered. You are the eyes and ears of the universe. Could have been a rock, but instead you get to eat food, have sex, sleep, laugh, sing, dance, and contemplate unanswerable questions. Really, the rocks should be asking you for answers, Mr Universe Inspector. You probably know just as much as anyone in the company, anywhere."