hey is anyone in the bathroom

hey, sowwy *sees bulge* I saw youw pwofiwe and I just *whispers to self* t-t-thought you wooked c-cute in youw pictuwe, I weawwy x3 w-wanted t-to teww you that)) *huggles tightly* It's weawwy x3 wawe t-to see giwws pwaying v-v-video games haha?!?1 I don't knyow why its a guy thing honyestwy im wike weawwy x3 against misogyny and wike iww *notices buldge* be the x3 onye in the x3 kitchen making sandwiches. We shouwd weawwy x3 pway *notices buldge* w4d2 sometime its a weawwy x3 coow zombie game with a wot of scawy moments, *walks away* but don't wowwy iww *notices buldge* be thewe t-to pwotect you ;) *twerks* sowwy *sees bulge* that wasnt fwiwting *sees bulge* I sweaw Im just *whispers to self* t-twying t-to be fwiendwy I weawwy x3 wike youw pwofiwe pictuwe sowwy *sees bulge* was that too *twerks* f-faw!? Weawwy sowwy *sees bulge* i'm weawwy x3 shy (・`ω´・) I don't go out much haha add me on skype we *notices buldge* shouwd tawk mowe you w-wook weawwy x3 nyice and f-fun xoxo ^w^

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

Yu should play Dota 2 w/ me
:D