I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly ♥♥♥ every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.

Nah, people might be saying they don't understand. But bruh, I got you. I understand.

When you drive up to Mickey D's just wanting' a shake after a long day working for peanuts, all you want is a smooth, creamy, delicious beverage to sate your pallette. You make it to the speaker to order, and you speak your heart's desire:

"May I please have a Large Cookies and Cream Mc'Flurry?"

You wait for the reply, knowing you are mere moments away from heavenly tasteful bliss. Then, the answer is heard. Dread fills you as you listen:

"Our shake machine is broken, we can't take soft serve orders now"

Hopes shattered, they ask in you with contempt in their voice "Would you like anything else?" And all you can say is:

"No... No, I'll be fine, thank you"

And with that, you drive off. The other patrons of the establishment glaring your direction as you leave in shame.

:DDDDDXDDD

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▉▉▉▉▉▉◤┳◥▉▉▉▉▉▉ You have been visited by the Loomynarty.
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▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉ Copy and paste this on the walls of the 5
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▉▉◤┳┃┈╰━╯┈┃┳◥▉▉most MLG m80s you know or you
▉◤┳┻╰━━━━━╯┻┳◥▉
◤┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳◥ will be qu1cksc0p3d by #FaZe Clan

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