Sure, skip this ad. Just like you skipped out on buying Amazon stock, and Google, and Apple. Need I go on? I'm sure you think you're too busy to invest online. You wanna see busy? I got enough laundry here to hide the sun, but that doesn't stop me from investing. 'Cause I got eToro. You just log in, pick a stock, set an amount, and hit "Trade". And yeah, you gotta pay a commission, except, no you don't, 'cause they don't take one. That's right, you can invest in stocks with no commission. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Still got it.

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"But sir, my brain can't handle more than 140 characters. Is there some way you could make things even easier for me?" Why yes, I can... with CopyTrader. Just find a top investor on eToro. How about someone with piercing blue eyes and a voice as smooth as butter... and hit "Copy". You... From now on, whenever they make a trade, you make the same trade automatically. "Neato! I just made a trade automatically!" I'm so proud of you, Bestie.

So join eToro and start trading the world's top markets. I've got an operation to perform. Scalpel! eToro.