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　 　 　　　 •● W E L C O M E -TO -M Y -P R O F I L E ●•
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If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line
If you're delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nobody will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969.
: If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the #-key until the beep, after the beep, wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, please call again later.
If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

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