Lanzel's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:41am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:35am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:20am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:03pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 6:17am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:47pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 6:44pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 8:02pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 5:07am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 11:03pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2017 @ 11:58pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2017 @ 8:35pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:02pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 11:47pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 4:56pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2019 @ 2:34am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 10:26pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 12:19am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 7:51pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:11am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 5:38am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:36am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 4:39pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 10:21pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:39pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 5:08pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 4:42pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 7:20pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2017 @ 9:52pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2017 @ 9:02pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2017 @ 11:39pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2017 @ 11:40pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2017 @ 9:52pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2017 @ 9:12pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

6 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

6 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

9 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

17 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

13 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

16 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,955 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

20 / 30