Behold the steamed clam river, running through my beloved home of old.
You who seek the Steamed Ham, follow its directions downstream in search of the key.
As you travel down it, you will see a kitchen.
In that kitchen, look for the Aurora Borealis the two speak of.
There, the key to the Steamed Ham sleeps.
You who laid hand upon the key must journey as follows to the Steamed Ham.
On the first twilight, sacrifice the roast chosen by the key.
On the second twilight, those who remain shall isometrically exercise the two who are close.
On the third twilight, those who remain shall praise my noble regional dialect.
On the fourth twilight, steam the head and grill.
On the fifth twilight, steam the chest and grill.
On the sixth twilight, steam the stomach and grill.
On the seventh twilight, steam the knee and grill.
On the eighth twilight, steam the leg and grill.
On the ninth twilight, the principal revives, and none shall be left alive.
On the tenth twilight, the journey ends, and you shall reach the Ham of the Steam.
The principal shall praise the delightfully devilish, and bestow four treasures.
One shall be all of the Steamed Hams’ gold.
One resurrects all the ruined roasts’ souls.
One even revives the luncheons it possessed.
And one for the principal to eternally rest.
Rest in peace, my beloved principal, Skinner.