Recent reviews by the ambivalent sexless monstxr

i just ♥♥♥♥ my pants

My advice for you is simple: Do not play this game. Avoid it at all costs. Chances are, you're going to bawl your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eyes out, even with achieving the best ending possible in the game.

This is a horrible game for mental health, and it's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ masterpiece. I'll be thinking about this ♥♥♥♥ for years to come.

This is the only Paradox game I can play. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate the war system.

The war system can burn.

I went on my hands and knees and begged of the Paradox Gods: "Please, update Germany and make better states."
But the only thing they responded with was "Germany-size focus tree for Iceland".

Not worth it. You're infinitely better off without it. RIP Artillery

Truth be told, I didn't need to buy this. But I did anyway, because I wanted to say that this game's soundtrack is, well- there are no words in any human language to describe it. I don't want to come off as if though I'm over-exaggerating because- I'm not. Phenomenal, astonishing, tear-jerking, curious. All of these and so many more fit the Stellaris soundtrack perfectly.
No other soundtrack, and I mean no other soundtrack, is able to so perfectly convey every single emotion imaginable. Curiosity, hatred, fear, astonishment, joy, rage, power, determination... other soundtracks can portray this, yes... but Stellaris, it is able to so effectively switch from one to another that it doesn't feel jarring, just... natural.

I know that I'm memeing here by saying that "this is the soundtrack of the indomitable human spirit", but- it's... not ironic. This, this is the sound of humanity. This is art at its purest definition- one capable of telling a story, one of wonders, mysteries, hopes and dreams and the feeling of it all being nearly crushed before victory comes and turns the tides. This is the sound of human ingenuity, of creativity- it is the sound of humanity.

No other soundtrack, and I mean absolutely no soundtrack, has made me stop in my tracks to just think for a moment about what the future of humanity is. What our legacy will be. Not to other humans, but... to the galaxy, to the universe. We take for granted that we are but animals. Even if we don't act like traditional animals, we are still driven by instinct- by the passions brought on by those instincts. But despite this, we are so radically different from anything else. We take the fact that you can VIEW this post at all, understand the sound and context that each letter that I type and the words that they form is... nothing short of a miracle. I still can't fathom it personally- taking the time to ponder why we are the way we are completely fries my brain.
And there is of course another thought that comes with questioning one's own humanity- is there anything like it in the galaxy? Is there a species as ingenious and creative as humanity? One that is so social and yet so individualistic? One that blurs the line between eusociality and individuality? One whom innovates, not out of greed or a wish to one-up another, but to help society and simply because they wish to? Or, when the last human takes their final breath and dies, will a one in a septillion species die? Will the last creation to understand the concept of language or a writing system die? Will the last creation to ponder and think about why they are the way they are die? Will the last creation to research and explore things solely out of natural curiosity die? I don't know the answer to those questions, and it's scary to think about.

I am content with this soundtrack being what defines humanity. I am content with it being used as the "theme song" of humanity- the concept of it, everything that comes with it. 200 years from now and beyond, I wish and hope that future generations will come to appreciate it as much as I did.

The game alright tho

This game is awful and words can't describe how much I regret my purchase. Did its intended purpose excellently.

Doesn't have a Soviet-level focus tree for Tanna Tuva. Absolutely awful.

i can do 9/11

My bones indeed did work. Works as advertised.

Fuels my psychopathic urges very well. Thank you for allowing me to brutally murder virtual depictions of people in several different ways.